Rampage in Milton

So, I shouldn't mock the, clearly, emotionally unbalanced, but I will anyway. In truth, I am really mocking the reporting of said incident, but the incident itself is pretty crazy. Ah, Canadians in the winter...

Here is a news item from today's Star:

Two Hurt in Samurai sword rampage

Dec 03, 2007 08:33 AM

Tamsyn Burgmann
STAFF REPORTER

Police arrested a woman in Milton last night after two people were slashed with a samurai sword.

Halton police said the incident began in a man’s apartment across the street from the Petro Canada Service Centre at Steeles Ave. E. and Martin St. They said the victim was having an argument with his girlfriend when she grabbed a sword that was on display in the apartment and struck him on the shoulder, arm and head. When the victim’s brother heard the commotion, police say he told the woman to leave. That’s when investigators say she headed across the street to the gas station and began smashing windows.

“Anytime someone’s running around with a sword, you can imagine (they’ve) taken (the dispute) to another level,” said Staff Sgt. Larry Masson. A window and two glass doors in the gas station had been shattered, as were the windows of a car parked outside. An off-duty firefighter who was pumping gas was cut on the arm when he tried to intervene, and was rushed to Hamilton General Hospital.

As police arrived at 8:45 p.m., gas station employees overpowered the woman. She was taken to Oakville Trafalgar Memorial Hospital to be treated for injuries. Her boyfriend was treated at Milton District Hospital for non-life-threatening injuries.

Charges are pending.

Let's take a closer look at my favorite part of this story: “Anytime someone’s running around with a sword, you can imagine (they’ve) taken (the dispute) to another level,” said Staff Sgt. Larry Masson. really, Sgt. Masson? I didn't know that. That explains a lot about the mysteries of the ages. Henry V was just taking the dispute to another level. Clears things up, for me anyway. Honestly, I think going across the street, smashing up a gas station, and attacking an off-duty fireman is 'taking it to another level,' but I'm not in law enforcement, so what do I know?