Dumb, rich women and their money...

... are soon parted, as they say, especially when companies such as the annoyingly ubiquitous Lululemon are on the case.
Lululemon is basically an overrated, upscale athletic clothing store. Stacy London and Clinton Kelly should be having fits, but basically the mantra of this company seems to be "Be healthy, be organic, and make sure your entire yoga class and everyone on the subway knows you spend $150 for yoga pants because you are just too good of a person to exercise in Fruit of the Loom." That's right, for more than many major appliances, this company will outfit you in stretchy black pants with their little logo printed conspicuously where everyone can see it (so everyone knows you spent $150 on them and not just $40).

This company is the darling of Canadian business right now. It's so organic, it's so Canadian, it's ... such a scam. They made a huge deal out of organic fibers and unusual "ingredients" (I call them this because their clothing has stuff like silver, soya beans and seaweed in it) and these "ingredients" are supposed to actually do something for you. One of their recent lines called VitaSea (yeah, I puked a little in my mouth too) is supposed to "release marine amino acids, minerals and vitamins into the skin upon contact with moisture." And yes, people believe this.

However, actual, scientific testing has proven this claim to be utterly erroneous. Investigators found no "significant difference in mineral levels between the VitaSea fabric and cotton T-shirts. The shirt tested was labelled as being made of 24 per cent of the seaweed fibre, 70 per cent cotton and 6 per cent spandex." Sorry, Lululemon. I don't buy your clothes, I think the entire idea of your company is a scam, and the plain, black Capezio pants I bought 10 years ago at J.C. Penny's for $30 are still going strong, despite the fact that you "change [y]our European-inspired colour palette every few months." Oh, but their webpage claims that if you call them, you can speak to a "real" Canadian. Nice for those lonely people out there who just can't sleep without being lulled by the sultry sounds of an authentic "eh?"

Sister, please.