Woolly Woolly World of Roo

Cancer, blogging, and other matters

2011-05-23T21:56:00.003-04:00

So, just a quick post after a long absence (three years - and the internet is still here!)

Obviously, I got over that whole "cancer" business. I shouldn't put it in quotes, but it makes me feel better about it. I just pretend I was sick and then I got better, with a few extra scars and the inability to bear offspring. You know, small things.

Anyway, I did begin a poetry blog at http://versereverse.wordpress.com where I try to write a short poem every day. If you're at all interested, you can subscribe at the other end of THIS LINK and get one of my poems in your inbox each day. I know, poems are awful, no one likes to read them (this is extremely obviously by the lack of hits my blog receives) but I honestly do like some of them and you might too.

I also have a Twitter account and you can follow me there too, if you'd like. Find me as felesroo.

Lastly, WWWoR is not dead and I will try to post more here, though I'm not sure there is any readership here either. This is more of a personal blog. I can still make fun of Canada though.

Back to making fun of Canada

2008-11-14T15:18:00.002-05:00

Welcome to Dildo, Newfoundland and Labrador.

From Wikipedia:

Dildo has a fast-growing tourist industry. Dildo offers picturesque scenery, several bed and breakfasts, eating establishments, the Dildo Museum interpretive centre, the Historic Dildo Days celebration in August, boat tours, the Society of United Fishermen, the Lions centre, several heritage structures, walking trails, many businesses and, of course, the road sign souvenirs.

Dildo won the Harrowsmith Magazine Award in 2001 as one of the ten prettiest small towns in Canada.

Dildo has also been featured on CBC's On the Road Again and Land and Sea as well as a live radio broadcast from the interpretation centre.

In August of 2006, Dildo was also the subject of the "What the...?" segment on the Australian television talk show Rove Live.

Dildo has its own television station, Channel Six.

The town is also mentioned in the song "A Night in Dildo" by The Arrogant Worms

Alive

2008-11-10T15:04:00.001-05:00

Yes, I am still alive, amazingly. Since my last post, I have undergone two major operations. I am recovering from the second one, a liver surgery, now. Mother went home today after spending three weeks here in Toronto helping to take care of me. So, I am basically back in one piece and I will start chemo in three weeks. I hope that in four months, this will all be behind me.

Also, I am very pleased Sen. Obama won the presidency and that the Democrats have greater control of Congress. I hope there will be some health care reform so that I will be able to return to the US and get coverage, since I will need tests for the rest of my life. It is frightening to have your life turned over at the age of 32, but the prospect of never being able to afford to return to the US was terrifying.

Roo's fall out of a window

2008-06-08T19:50:00.002-04:00

So today, while we were trying to install a window air conditioner because it is horribly hot here in Toronto and I can't sit around sweating because getting dehydrated will land me in a hospital really fast, Roo, idiot Roo, got out onto the ledge. Instead of backing up and re-entering the room, he tried to turn around and he fell two and a half stories to the ground below. Thankfully, he got tangled up in the branches of a tree on his way down, so that slowed his decent, but he gave the ground a pretty good whomp. Of course, I freaked out, started seeing spots, my blood pressure shot up and down like crazy. I yelled at Justin to run outside to get him. We live on a really busy road and even though he is afraid of the road, I didn't know what he would do.

Justin ran out the front door and I ran down and opened up the back door that leads out onto the patio. And there was Roo! He was waiting by the back door. That is the door we always take him in and out of on his walks. I am glad now that we took him on walks because he knows his way around the outside of the building. I picked him up and he was purring like crazy. I think he was freaked out too. He was totally limp in my arms, which he very rarely is, but he was so happy to be with me after that. I called Justin back inside and we gave Roo some treats. He seems fine. Nothing is broken, certainly, but I am worried about internal injuries, so I am watching him. He is acting fine though. Hopefully, he will gain more cat sense now and never, ever do that again. It was my worst nightmare, one of the cats falling out of the windows here. He used up one of his lives, that is for certain.

The "Cruellest" Doughnut Hole

2008-05-09T13:25:00.004-04:00

So the "big" story up here lately has been the firing and subsequent rehiring of a woman now dubbed the "Timbits mom". The story is, this woman, a 27-year old single mom of four was a fairly long-term Tim Horton's employee. One day, a regular customer came in, another mom with a baby, looking really harried. The baby was screaming and I guess everyone was rather miserable, so the employee gave the woman one timbit retailing for $0.16 (though they are $0.17 here in Toronto) to the baby to shut it up. I didn't know babies could eat Timbits. Perhaps she was hoping it would choke. Anyway, she got fired a couple of days later for giving away merchandise. $0.16 worth of merchandise.

Well, the bad press got out, and she was rehired at another Tim Horton's owned by the same person, and her lost pay was replaced. All this flurry over a Timbit. Still, even though the manager was a complete ass, it is nice to know the owner did right.

Read about it: Timbits mom fired and Timbits mom rehired

Tumors, cancer, and the individual

2008-04-04T17:39:00.002-04:00

When I was studying Northern Renaissance Art as an undergrad, the professor said something about the genre that really struck me, and that was that unlike the Italian Renaissance and Baroque, where the artists always fixated on these huge, earth-changing events like the birth of Jesus, as if the entire world took pause to realize the enormity of the moment, the artists of the lowlands knew that all events - births, deaths, marriages, breakups - are of little to no interest to anyone but those involved.

On Wednesday, April 2, while undergoing an exam, doctors found a large tumor in my lower GI tract. Yes, that is as good as it sounds. It has been very hard to adjust from being a normal person wrapped up in grad school, money, relationships, and what I am going to do this summer, to being a person who has cancer. I am reminded again of losing my father and how much the world changed for me in that single moment.

What is strangest for me, in this process of adjustment, is that it is my battle. It is not just a physical battle, but a mental one as well. I have to come to terms with my world having been changed as quickly as a bolt of lightning. I have to deal with the anger of not having done something sooner, and if I will face the ultimate price for my inaction. I have to deal with it in a world where very few know or care, and I tell myself, why should they? Somewhere, a child has died in his mother's arms. Somewhere, a teenager found out she has MS. Somewhere, a woman had a miscarriage. Today, Beyonce and Jay-Z are getting married.

So I have to face my battle, and the people who love me are hoping, and praying, and supporting me. I am scared, I am angry, I am nervous, but I also know how strong I am. I also know that the farmers will keep plowing, the merchants will keep selling, and the ships will keep sailing even as Icarus falls into the sea.

Earth Hour 2008

2008-03-29T21:32:00.002-04:00

Justin and I celebrated Earth Hour 2008 by sitting in the dark for an hour and bitching about how the people across the street were not turning out their lights. Granted, I live away from downtown, where the effect was more spectacular, as you can see by the photo, courtesy of the Toronto Star.

I hope next year that Earth Hour is embraced even more greatly, mostly because it is fun. We had a free acoustic concern with Nelly Furtado down in Nathan Phillips Square, though I did not attend, and many restaurants offered candlelit dining. Me, I like doing things that millions of people around the world are also doing. That is why I wake up at 1 am to watch the World Cup in Japan. I'm not a lemming. Really, I'm not.

Snow Rage

2008-03-14T22:42:00.003-04:00

Violence is breaking out in Montreal and in other parts of Quebec due to the snow. Now, this is something I did not know before I moved to Canada, but you do not, under any circumstances, put the snow that fell on your property on another person's property, nor can you put it in the street. You just have to move it around on your own land. I found this out the first year I was here when I helped a little old lady who lived up my street shovel her drive after a particularly heavy snow. I was just moving the snow and I tossed some into the neighbor's yard. She totally freaked out and said that I just can't do that. I thought it was strange at the time, but it seems I was lucky the homeowner didn't come out with a gun:

Guns and fists as snow rage erupts

Happy shoveling!

Always winter, never Christmas

2008-03-07T16:24:00.002-05:00

Where is a giant lion when you need one? We have had nothing but snow in the TO for eternity. No, scratch that, we had a really unpleasant ice storm thrown in there at one point. Right now, we are on the brink of the largest storm yet, set to rival the one I missed while in England in December. Forecast models are putting us at around a foot of snow.

Saturday is supposed to be really fun with 70 km/h winds ripping down out of the north creating whiteout conditions. It is okay though, because I stocked up on Velveeta Shells and Cheese for us and Friskies for the Woolies (so we are not consumed by the evil creatures). Hopefully, the city will dig itself out on Sunday so I can get down to class Monday morning. However, I know our superintendent will not shovel the walk until next week sometime.

Link-a-doodle-doo!

2008-02-20T11:31:00.002-05:00

Snarky Celebrity gossip! - dlisted

What has Barack Obama done for you lately? - barackobamaisyournewbicycle

Why? Why? Why? - Hot Chicks with Douchebags

People who made bad life choices - PhD Comics

All things 80's - SydLexia

The Fug Girls Online! - Go Fug Yourself

And... proof that really no one can look sexy eating:

The "Extremely Clever" Award for 2007

2008-02-07T19:45:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to the knee-powered generator!

According to the Toronto Star, "scientists" created a knee-powered generator that can generate up to 5 watts of power if one is worn on each knee.

To quote: Lawrence C. Rome of the University of Pennsylvania called the development "extremely clever.''

Thank you, Lawrence C. Rome (though I am thinking you must not have a Ph.D. or the paper would have put "Dr." before your name.... oh wait, this is the Star. Nevermind. You are probably the Distinguished Chair of the Clever Things department at the University of Penn.) Actually, Mr. Rome invented a backpack that generates power while a person... backpacks. He was very impressed by the cleverness of the knee generator, but pointed out that it would need to be comfortable before it would cut into his backpack sales. I say, double-up and you can run your treadmill off the power you generate walking on the treadmill. Wow... I just saw colors!

Here's the story.

Happy walking!

Endorsement

2008-02-03T18:14:00.000-05:00

I try to steer away from being too public about my true political affiliations. Sure, I'm a Democrat, no secret there, but I have tried to keep out of the current fracas publicly. However, today, I received an e-mail from MoveOn.org, which as a result of its members' votes, has endorsed Sen. Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination.

They attached a video made by Will I Am of the Black Eyed Peas and some other celebrities, citing how it moved them. I will admit, I, too, was moved. So I am now coming out of the Obama closet and publicly endorsing him myself, not that my little opinion carries much weight. You can watch the video below, and I have also pasted a transcript of the end of Obama's New Hampshire speech that I think is just a wonderful expression of hope and the power of the American people to do right by ourselves and by the world.

Transcript:

[...]

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope. For when we have faced down impossible odds; when we've been told that we're not ready, or that we shouldn't try, or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people.

Yes we can.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom through the darkest of nights.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballot; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality. Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity. Yes we can heal this nation. Yes we can repair this world. Yes we can.

And so tomorrow, as we take this campaign South and West; as we learn that the struggles of the textile worker in Spartanburg are not so different than the plight of the dishwasher in Las Vegas; that the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in America's story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea - Yes. We. Can.

Godspeed, Barack.

[Insert inappropriate innuendo here]

2008-01-18T12:37:00.000-05:00

Churches often put cute, pithy things on their signs like, "We have a prophet sharing plan" and "A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing." Well, one church in Brampton, ON took this to the next level:

Of course, a quick Googling of this will show that it has been done before so no marks for originality, Heart Lake United Church, but 8 out of 10 for nerve. Of course, uptight parents complained since it exposes their human children to something... um... human, and the church was forced to change the sign. Now, I find it in poor taste, but I am routinely amazed by parents who get worked up about this sort of thing. "What do I tell my child when they ask about it?" Well, tell them it is just a joke (no, you don't have to explain it). If they comment that it isn't funny, agree with them (since it isn't particularly funny).

Full story.

Two Donuts, One Car

2008-01-13T11:50:00.000-05:00

For your amusement, an item from today's Toronto Star:

Man steals donuts, car

A craving for a sweet treat and a joyride appears to be the motive behind a vehicle theft at a north-end donut shop earlier this morning.

Police responded to a call for a stolen vehicle just after 5 a.m. this morning at a Coffee Time at Credistone Rd. and Hwy. 7.

Police said witnesses reported the man reached over the counter, grabbed two donuts and fled the shop, driving off in a vehicle left idling outside.

Police did not identify the make and model of the car, nor the flavour and freshness of the stolen donuts (emphasis mine).

----

God, I love Canadian police sometimes.

No matter how humble...

2008-01-06T00:17:00.000-05:00

...there's no place like home.

Yes, friends, I am home at long last, after spending just a scant 36 hours in my apartment over the past month. England, Kansas... I definitely need some downtime. I'm glad I have no trips scheduled until May.

Happy Christmas and Merry New Year

2007-12-25T09:25:00.000-05:00

May all of my readers have a peaceful, safe, and warm holiday filled with love, with life, and with joy. May we all remember those less fortunate, may we not covet those more fortunate, and may we be content and happy with all that we have.

May we also remember that life is an adventure and the world is a beautiful place. Live every day with the recognition of the wonders of life. Hold the living in your arms and the dead in your heart.

And finally, may we have peace on earth and love between all.

Gate House, RIP

2007-12-19T12:10:00.001-05:00

A story from the Toronto Star.

It seems the infamous Gate House male residence is being made coed after a storied history of pranks and problems. The residence is said to have inspired the movie Animal House from Donald Sutherland's memories of the toga parties there.

These things are about a certain time and place, and it is a pity to see institutions go, even the ones not entirely upstanding. At the University of Kansas, we had Stephenson Hall. I know other universities have their dens of infamy (oddly, normally male residences). Still, a 2.5 meter penis out of snow is a work of art, and griefing someone with a boiled pig's head is hardly the worst thing one could do. Heck, my high school class did worse.

So here's to you, Gate House.

Back to the UK

2007-12-05T09:37:00.001-05:00

So I'm off to the British Isles, fair Britannia, where Neolithic mounds rise in the mists and fairies fill the forests. Well, I guess not that. I think forests are pretty rare and there are more roundabouts than stone circles, especially in Manchester, and the fairies were put in pies long ago.

Regardless, I'm there for two weeks, so there will be no Canada-bashing available here. However, I may have a "UK Edition" prepared when I return, depending on how silly I find it.

We already know Camelot is a silly place.

Rampage in Milton

2007-12-03T14:09:00.000-05:00

So, I shouldn't mock the, clearly, emotionally unbalanced, but I will anyway. In truth, I am really mocking the reporting of said incident, but the incident itself is pretty crazy. Ah, Canadians in the winter...

Here is a news item from today's Star:

Two Hurt in Samurai sword rampage

Dec 03, 2007 08:33 AM

Tamsyn Burgmann
STAFF REPORTER

Police arrested a woman in Milton last night after two people were slashed with a samurai sword.

Halton police said the incident began in a man’s apartment across the street from the Petro Canada Service Centre at Steeles Ave. E. and Martin St. They said the victim was having an argument with his girlfriend when she grabbed a sword that was on display in the apartment and struck him on the shoulder, arm and head. When the victim’s brother heard the commotion, police say he told the woman to leave. That’s when investigators say she headed across the street to the gas station and began smashing windows.

“Anytime someone’s running around with a sword, you can imagine (they’ve) taken (the dispute) to another level,” said Staff Sgt. Larry Masson. A window and two glass doors in the gas station had been shattered, as were the windows of a car parked outside. An off-duty firefighter who was pumping gas was cut on the arm when he tried to intervene, and was rushed to Hamilton General Hospital.

As police arrived at 8:45 p.m., gas station employees overpowered the woman. She was taken to Oakville Trafalgar Memorial Hospital to be treated for injuries. Her boyfriend was treated at Milton District Hospital for non-life-threatening injuries.

Charges are pending.

Let's take a closer look at my favorite part of this story: “Anytime someone’s running around with a sword, you can imagine (they’ve) taken (the dispute) to another level,” said Staff Sgt. Larry Masson. really, Sgt. Masson? I didn't know that. That explains a lot about the mysteries of the ages. Henry V was just taking the dispute to another level. Clears things up, for me anyway. Honestly, I think going across the street, smashing up a gas station, and attacking an off-duty fireman is 'taking it to another level,' but I'm not in law enforcement, so what do I know?

Giving Thanks

2007-11-22T14:12:00.000-05:00

As a slight twist on the holiday (well, for the US. The Canadians have their Thanksgiving in October, just so they can pretend they aren't really the 51st state), I have decided to "give thanks" for the things I have learned in my life, and I pass them on to you, the gentle reader, so you will not have to live and learn as I did. These are listed in no particular order.

Do not, regardless of how hard it is raining, open an umbrella while holding a cat.
Don't broil in Pyrex. Really. Don't.
No matter how good it sounds, chocolate really doesn't make a very good breakfast food.
You can overwater a plant
It is very easy to play a video game for five hours, and very hard to study for five hours, though the actual activity level is exactly the same.
People who were jerks in high school actually can grow up to be decent humans beings.
It's really amazing how much you can miss someone when you can't ever speak to them again.
Don't want what the rich want.
Anything worth doing is usually pretty difficult.
Growing up isn't so bad.
Ants, cake, plastic, and an oven don't mix well.
People are pretty similar the world over.
Celebrity gossip blogs are strangely fascinating.
YouTube will suck away all of your free time.
No matter what it is, it will probably change.
It is okay to cry (according to my shrink)
Being nice is harder than being mean, but it pays a lot better.
You actually can have too many computers, especially if more than half of them don't work.
Laundry piles up extraordinarily fast.
and finally... All of the bad stuff that happens makes the good stuff seem even better.

Peace and love this Thanksgiving, even to Canadians.

Hortons clerks nab axe robber

2007-11-22T00:51:00.000-05:00

This is direct from the Canadian Press:

MONTREAL – An axe-wielding masked man who attempted to rob a Montreal-area doughnut shop didn't get any coffee but he did get creamed.

Montreal police say the 18-year-old man entered a Tim Hortons outlet in suburban Pointe-Claire just after midnight and threatened the woman behind the counter with his axe.

Const. Olivier Lapointe says the masked man demanded money and was starting to scoop up the cash when another female employee working in the kitchen showed up.

With the help of three customers, the clerks jumped the suspect, took away his axe, wrestled him to the ground and recovered the money.

When police arrived at the Tim Hortons after getting a 911 call, the man was still being held down by the customers.

No one was injured, but the suspect will face charges of robbery and assault with a weapon.

Dumb, rich women and their money...

2007-11-18T15:07:00.000-05:00

... are soon parted, as they say, especially when companies such as the annoyingly ubiquitous Lululemon are on the case.
Lululemon is basically an overrated, upscale athletic clothing store. Stacy London and Clinton Kelly should be having fits, but basically the mantra of this company seems to be "Be healthy, be organic, and make sure your entire yoga class and everyone on the subway knows you spend $150 for yoga pants because you are just too good of a person to exercise in Fruit of the Loom." That's right, for more than many major appliances, this company will outfit you in stretchy black pants with their little logo printed conspicuously where everyone can see it (so everyone knows you spent $150 on them and not just $40).

This company is the darling of Canadian business right now. It's so organic, it's so Canadian, it's ... such a scam. They made a huge deal out of organic fibers and unusual "ingredients" (I call them this because their clothing has stuff like silver, soya beans and seaweed in it) and these "ingredients" are supposed to actually do something for you. One of their recent lines called VitaSea (yeah, I puked a little in my mouth too) is supposed to "release marine amino acids, minerals and vitamins into the skin upon contact with moisture." And yes, people believe this.

However, actual, scientific testing has proven this claim to be utterly erroneous. Investigators found no "significant difference in mineral levels between the VitaSea fabric and cotton T-shirts. The shirt tested was labelled as being made of 24 per cent of the seaweed fibre, 70 per cent cotton and 6 per cent spandex." Sorry, Lululemon. I don't buy your clothes, I think the entire idea of your company is a scam, and the plain, black Capezio pants I bought 10 years ago at J.C. Penny's for $30 are still going strong, despite the fact that you "change [y]our European-inspired colour palette every few months." Oh, but their webpage claims that if you call them, you can speak to a "real" Canadian. Nice for those lonely people out there who just can't sleep without being lulled by the sultry sounds of an authentic "eh?"

Sister, please.

Writers' Strike

2007-11-15T19:32:00.000-05:00

So I am having fits over this Writers' Strike. This doesn't actually affect Canadian shows (all three of them) but we tend to get a lot of ported US shows up here. However, I can stand to miss dramas like Ugly Betty and the like, because I won't really be missing anything. When the show comes back, the story picks up. However, my daily fixtures of TV viewing, the Daily Show and the Colbert Report, are also affected because they use writers, and I am going into serious withdraw. I have a hard enough time when the shows go on break for holidays/vacations, and now, there seems to be no end in sight. And you know what, it is just lost. LOST! I mean, they aren't going to make fun of news from three months ago.

Seriously, I need a hit. I am just glad Samantha Bee is on this week's Little Mosque on the Prairie.

Stephen Colbert ends campaign

2007-11-05T19:15:00.000-05:00

My personal Jesus, Stephen Colbert, has ended his run for the White House. He said in a statement, "Although I lost by the slimmest margin in presidential election history—only 10 votes—I have chosen not to put the country through another agonizing Supreme Court battle. It is time for this nation to heal."

Of course, I am completely gutted. I even got a tattoo of Stephen, naked, riding an eagle, holding an American flag as he flies out of the rising sun. Damn. I guess I'll have to get it reworked into Chinese characters that read "Crazy Delicious."

Yet another blow, both the Daily Show and Colbert are in reruns until the writers' strike is over. Perhaps I'll put on a puppet show tonight and make up my own jokes. I can be witty on topical issues. How about, "Today, Bush appeared before the press and told Musharraf that he needed to remove his military uniform, because it gave the wrong impression. No, it wasn't that Musharraf was heading up a military dictatorship that was merely posing as a democracy, rather the sharp tailoring on the suit was making his own attire look shabby."

Okay, I'll just wait for the strike to end.

Eat it, Nebraska!

2007-11-03T17:41:00.000-04:00

This is not a sports blog. Indeed, it is a "Let's all laugh at Canada" blog (see below). However, I have to crow about my alma mater, old KU, beating the tight, red pants off of Nebraska this afternoon. Sadly, I could not watch the contest as the only thing Northeasterners care less about than the Midwest is the current population levels of the Alberta Brown Striped Marmot. However, KU did defeat NU by the whopping score of 76 to 39. Dad would have been so pleased.

http://scores.espn.go.com/ncf/recap?gameId=273072305

Just to get a shot in on Canadian deficiencies, my new alma mater, U of T, has set an all-time record for futility, losing a whopping 48 games in a row in their -attempts- at playing football (and remember, this is Canadian football, not real football). We haven't won a game since 2001! And before that, they lost 18 in a row, and that "victory" was a 13-11 struggle that was barely won at the last minute. It's all good though. U of T isn't supposed to be good at sports. They are like Harvard. If they were good at sports too, all of the other universities would get together and burn it down, because they couldn't stand the uppityness of it all. After all, that is why jocks beat up on nerds.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/toronto/story/2007/10/13/cisfootball-uoftblues-futilitystreak.html?ref=rss

Loonie Power

2007-11-02T09:28:00.000-04:00

So the Loonie (otherwise known as the Canadian dollar) is soaring in the markets, and today broke $1.07! When I came to visit the University of Toronto in 2003, the Loonie was around $0.67 to the US dollar. Perhaps I can take credit for it? Of course, this does make it difficult to joke about the wee Loonie.
I even have a shirt that says, "Canada fits your budget" which really doesn't make sense anymore as people are constantly driving to the US to buy things now. Many retailers here have had to lower prices to compete, especially with things like books. It always hurt to pay $5-$10 more per book, especially when that US price was just flaunted right to the left of the Canadian price. But now, now when you know your currency is stronger... wrath. Pure Canadian wrath.

RIP: Nancy Ward

2007-10-27T09:49:00.001-04:00

We've suffered another great loss in our home. Justin's mother, Nancy Ward, passed unexpectedly. She taught school for 33 years in Justin's hometown. She was a really nice, sweet lady who wanted everyone to achieve their dreams and loved with all of her heart. She will be missed, not just in our lives, but in the lives of many.

Barreling into the early 'Oughts.

2007-10-23T00:38:00.000-04:00

I claimed I was too old, but I was tricked (probably as a result of the senility setting in with old age) into joining Facebook, since I wanted to see the Colbert for President group on there. I thought, "Sure, making an account will be the same as all others, I sign up to read an article, then a promptly forget I was ever there." Well, after a few choice questions, I discover my friends from high school I haven't seen in 10 years. I have to admit, it is pretty neat.
Well, if you are on there, track me down. I'm already involved in two Scrabble games.

That Rocky Mountain High

2007-10-18T09:59:00.000-04:00

So it seems that the ferry operators to Victoria Island off the west coast of Canada like to sail the "high" seas. From the Star:

Canada's transportation safety watchdog warned yesterday of widespread marijuana use by BC Ferries crew members, a revelation that had the government-owned ferry operator calling for mandatory testing.
The Transportation Safety Board said the information came up during its investigation into the sinking of the Queen of the North in March 2006, which killed two passengers, though there was nothing to suggest the crew of that ship was high.
"We interviewed enough people who told us the crews were regularly smoking cannabis and a pattern began to emerge," spokesperson John Cottreau said in an interview from Gatineau, Que. The board is not expected to issue its final report on the sinking until next year.

I've actually been on these ferries. Frankly, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Those BCers are pretty laid back.

Templars pardoned!

2007-10-12T06:09:00.000-04:00

That's right! Whew, I was holding my breath for 700 years! Finally, the Vatican has backed off on its heresy charges against the Knights Templar (though the sexual misconduct charges seem to still be sticking).

The "lost" document, the Chinon document - the records of the Templars' heresy trial, was recently found and the Vatican has made several hundred replicas of it, one of which could be yours for the -bargain- price of 5,900 Euros (that's $8,333 US/CAD for you West-Hemis out there). They've replicated even the stains and seals, so if you look at it that way, it still isn't worth half of a car.

Despite looking the other way on the heresy thing, it isn't as though you can -un-burn someone at the stake. However, this will provide more fuel for the Illuminati conspiracy theorists out there. I bet you they'll be picking up THEIR copy of the trial record.

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSL093422320071012

Pretty, shiny things

2007-10-01T15:11:00.000-04:00

Last Friday, a group of us in the department went to the Medieval and Renaissance Treasures of the Victoria and Albert Museum that is currently at the AGO until its closure on Oct 7 (the whole museum is closing for some time due to construction). One of my cohorts organized our trip to the museum and I mostly went because I knew I should.

Unbeknownst to me, the V & A actually ponied up some pretty good stuff. Often on these "Treasures" exhibits, you can get a bunch of junk from storage, and one thing people actually want to see. Then I remembered, medieval stuff is ALL junk from storage since no one knows anything about the Malmsbury Casket except those of us in the field. I mean, if I said "Hey, the Soissons Diptych is in town, you should go see it!" you would look at me as if I had just grown a testicle on my face.

But the Soissons Diptych WAS in town - awesome. Not only that, the Symmachus ivory panel, the friggin Lorsch Gospel cover, a cute Medici garden putti made by Donatello (my fav!) and a really famous Mosan aquamanile. Anyway, it was like going to a concert at a crappy little club somewhere and finding out that the band on stage is the Rolling Stones.

For me anyway.

2007-09-21T08:47:00.000-04:00

Watching CNN this morning, I saw a piece by Dr. Sanjay Gupta about Twinkies. They claimed to be "deconstructing" the Twinkie to explain what the artificial ingredients do and replace. Well, they put up a statement from Hostess that I found far more philosophical than I expected from the good folks who make Twinkies:

"Deconstructing the Twinkie is like trying to deconstruct the universe. Some people look at the night sky and see something beautiful, others try to count the stars."

Wow.

Yay me!

2007-09-19T13:59:00.001-04:00

I passed my comprehensive exams today (see picture below):

Am I happy? Most definitely. Was it a little anti-climatic? Sure. And am I just sitting around watching TV now? You bet!

Insanely catchy

2007-09-10T22:32:00.001-04:00

So there are these two television commercials playing up here in Canada, both featuring insanely catchy songs by the Toronto-based band Major Maker. The first song, for Maynards candies (really just non-chocolate Cadbury products) is called "Rollercoaster" though it was originally just called the "Candy Song" because the band only wrote a 30 second bit for the ad and it wasn't an official release. It is now being played on the radio as a full-length song, and you can buy it from iTunes, if you like. Watch the video of the ad below:

The second nastily-catchy song is also from a Canadian ad for the blood-sucking cellular company Telus. Telus's schtick is to use "cute" animals in its ads to entice you to buy. I enjoyed their run using bunnies. They've been through monkeys and frogs and birds... well, now they are on fish. They're running this ad with this little purple fish that just talks and talks and talks (you can see how much he is talking because of all the bubbles from his mouth) and the other fish look really bored or are actually swimming away from the little purple babbler as quickly as they can. Needless to say, I sort of feel sorry for the little purple fish, though it is probably a nitwit and doesn't realize that he is probably telling racist jokes no one wants to hear. Clearly, I've put far too much thought into this ad. Anyway, the music in this ad is "All I Wanna Do is Talk to You" and it has a cute little synth riff that somehow is as mindless as the little purple fish. Like the little purple fish, it gets in your head and won't get out. This song will be released as a full single in a few weeks. Watch it below:

Peace out.

For all you hardcore Steampunkers

2007-09-08T19:36:00.000-04:00

Introducing the brand new 1899 model Horsey Horseless, the newest in horseless carriage technology. Specially designed for those of you who want to keep the fun end of the horse without the upkeep of the messy end of the horse. Limited time offer - bring us the head of your favorite (and now obsolete) horse, and we'll mount him (or her) for free! For those of you who wish to show off a team, we'll mount a second head for only a small surcharge. Undercarriage rust protection extra. 5 month or 5,000 mile powertrain warranty.

Remember, if it isn't Horsey, it just won't go!

Too cute

2007-09-06T21:18:00.000-04:00

Everyone loves baby pandas!

Geoff Pye, San Diego Zoo senior veterinarian, examines a 26-day-old giant panda cub in San Diego.

All Quiet

2007-08-31T16:14:00.000-04:00

There is absolutely nothing to report from Canada at this time, so watch this.

Caving madness

2007-08-16T11:12:00.000-04:00

We've arrived back in Canada after six weeks home in Kansas. The trip home was great, though I was a bit overwhelmed with everything that needed doing. I did get some of the outlets changed, though the overhead light in the kitchen thwarted my efforts to fix it as the old one was not installed properly. I'm not even certain as to how that house was put together the way it was in the first place as it is so much more difficult to do it improperly, though I suppose it is marginally cheaper to do it wrong, which is why I am stuck trying to put things right. Let me just say that it is easier to do it right from the start than to try to fix something done wrong.

Moving on. Justin and I have discovered a new hobby: caving. We both like to go into caves. Granted, the cushy tours we've been on are the camping equivelant of staying in the Hilton, but it is a start. We visited Meramec Caverns on the way to Kansas (beautiful formations, really cheesy tour complete with a video projection of a flag on 400,000 thousand year old flow formations) - see picture at left. Imagine a flag projected onto that. Sigh.

We also went down in Marvel Cave, the cave at Silver Dollar City. A word about Silver Dollar City - it is a lot more fun than it sounds. It is an amalgamation of a Renaissance Faire and a roller coaster amusement park. The theme is the 1880's, but they have crazy fun rides. They also have a cave, which I think was one of the reasons Silver Dollar City sprung up where it did.

Marvel Cave was much more "cavey" than Meramec was, though there were not very many formations. The initial descent is neat because you go down in a huge cavern that at one time held five inflated and floating one-person hot-air balloons. That is a big cavern! It also contained an enormous debris pile of stuff that had fallen through a sinkhole in the ceiling. I know it sounds sad that the most impressive part of the tour was a big pile of debris, but I am telling you, it was a BIG pile of debris... like four stories high from the base. There were also a lot of crawly spots where you really had to slip by narrow places. When entering the waiting line for the cave, you have to crawl through a cut-out of the narrowest passage, just to make sure you fit before they let you down in the cave. I would definitely NOT want to get stuck in a narrow passage of a cave if I were of the physical type that needed to worry about narrowness. Marvel Cave is Justin's favorite, but for me, it placed second to...

Fisher Cave! Fisher Cave (see right) was our original destination on the way out to Kansas, but because Fisher Cave is in Meramec National Park, we got confused and went to Meramec Caverns instead (which was okay, really. Meramec Caverns was a good starter cave for me). Fisher Cave is a much more cavey cave than the others since there are a lot of crawly places and the cave has not been fitted with permanent lighting as the previous two were. Instead, all those on the tour carried these extraordinarily shitty flashlights, half of which ceased to function about 3/4 of the way through the tour. I did have my emergency pocket light though, so I wasn't too worried. Still, they need to get better lights. Now, both Meramec and Marvel caves were "well-developed" in that they had a lot of cheese souvenir stuff around them including ATMs. We assumed Fisher would be the same way, so we traversed these crazy-wind-y backroads through the park to the cave which was... just a cave. It was a gated cave with a little information board. There was the park ranger tour guide with a coinbox to take your $6 (very cheap for a cave of this quality). Justin and I didn't have any currency on us, since we assumed there would be an ATM. However, I did have all my US change in a box in the car - US change amassed in Canada whenever I got US change instead of Canadian. Justin actually had about $4 on him (one dollar bill and $3 in quarters) and so I got into the changebox (not having enough time to drive out of the park and get money before the last tour left) and managed to find $8 in change. The tour guide was amazed we had that much change in the car. I explained I was actually doing a service to the US by bringing it back from Canada.

The cave itself was awesome, my favorite by far. Also a terrifically good glutial workout. The formations were incredible, though the tour was a little spoiled by this huge family of rednecks, who were extremely irritating. The lights going out were irritating too since the dim light prevented me from seeing some of the formations. But overall, very nice. The cave offers longer tours, though some special equipment is required such as three light sources, caving boots, and a helmet. Justin and I will go eventually. Our next stop, I think, might be Crystal Cave in northern Ohio, or we'll tackle Mammoth Cave in Kentucky. We're thinking of getting a tent.

Sparkly!

2007-06-25T23:38:00.001-04:00

The CN Tower received a facelift recently in the form of new LED lights that are more energy-efficient and can make millions of pretty colors, all in a row.

You can read the story here: http://www.thestar.com/News/article/228986

There is a nice video. I tried to link to it, but something was jamming up the Internet.

RIP, Dad, and a tribute, of sorts

2007-05-28T23:06:00.000-04:00

It has been some time since my last blog entry and much has happened in between, but perhaps the greatest event and tragedy has been the death of my father, unexpected, at the age of 58. I am not the sort of pour my heart out online, but it would be impossible for me not to mention it. So as part of my tribute to him, I've decided to make fun of Miss Canada, from the Miss Universe pageant. This picture is actually the outfit she wore for the "National Costume" portion. Heaven help the Canucks:

Dad and I used to watch most of the beauty pageants somewhat religiously. I know, this seems weird, but we enjoyed commenting on the silly outfits, the hare-brained answers to questions, and betting on who we thought would win (often not the person we really wanted). Dad also took the opportunity to comment on the girl's asses, since he was a self-described "ass man."

Tonight, the Miss Universe pageant was in Mexico City, which was somewhat politically charged. The audience booed Miss USA in the final question phase. Perhaps they were mad that she got through while Miss Mexico did not. Miss USA also fell down during the evening gown portion of the night. Miss Japan won. My dad would have been disappointed: No ass.

How Canadians solve problems

2007-03-06T18:21:00.000-05:00

Tragedy has struck Toronto. Ice has formed on the CN Tower, making it necessary to close the Gardiner Expressway for fear the ice will break off and squish people (see picture). The Toronto Star, that bastion of investigative reporting, has asked readers to send in suggestions on how to get the ice off the tower safely. Click here to read.

My personal favorite: " Send a team of woodpeckers with little parkas on or wooly sweaters to peck away at the ice. Laura Heather, Toronto" I'm not entirely sure how a wooly sweater could peck at the ice, but there you go.

Not Dead, Just Reading

2007-03-03T10:32:00.000-05:00

Sadly, I do not have time for flippant jocularity for my adoring fans. However, I do want everyone to know that I am still alive.

Since Christmas, I have been studying for my horrifying comprehensive exam for the PhD program in Art History here at the University of Toronto. The first day is an in-class exam stretching over 7 hours. The first three hours you answer one question, then lunch, then the second question. To be fair, you do get your choice of three questions per session. Directly after that begins the 72-hour take home question, for which you need to write 20 pages with full citations. A few days after turning that in, you're in for a 2-hour oral exam.

I'm exhausted, I'm grouchy, I am afraid... but hopefully I'll be back after March 26, and hopefully, in a very good mood!

The Secret Life of Machines

2006-12-08T18:32:00.000-05:00

Long ago, in the 1980s, my dad and I used to watch a show on PBS called "The Secret Life of Machines." It was actually a British show ported over to the States. Recently, I had a hankering to see if I could purchase a set of DVDs of the show. Lo and behold! I came across the Secret Life of Machines website!

The show is written and hosted by Tim Hunkin, who also supports other websites of his cartoons called The Rudiments of Wisdom, an encyclopaedia of various topics, presented in cartoon form, and a site with fun experiments you can do at home called Hunkin's Experiments.

Tim (pictured right) is actually a very nice man who answers random fan mail from silly Americans like me. I was delighted to get a response as his show really struck a chord with me in my younger years. If you go to the Secret Life of Machines website, they have a link where you can download ALL of the shows for free, and the quality is quite good, considering. I downloaded all of them, and since we have a digital cable converter in our server, then I could upload them and watch them on the TV, just as if it were being broadcast (but with no commercials of course). I never did get to see all of the originals, mostly the ones from the first season, so it is nice to be able to watch the rest. Also, rewatching the shows I remember, particularly the ones about the vacuum and the television, has been rewarding because I didn't remember a lot of the technical information, just the cute, and funny, cartoons.

If you are at all a fan of history, machines, or the history of machines, you should definitely watch this show. For me, they have given me an opportunity to learn how the various machines I use work, and that allows me to understand better what is really going on around me. As well, the humor in the shows makes them quite fun to watch and even older children would be entertained, even if some of the information may be beyond them.

Truthiness

2006-11-10T00:23:00.000-05:00

My career of making fun of Canadians has become much more public. Now, I spend some very valuable time contributing to the Wikiality encyclopedia found at:

www.wikiality.com

My contributions include Toronto (now a Featured Article!!), Ontario, hacky sack, and Canadian government. Only truthiness is contained in these articles. For those not in the know, "wikiality" was a word on Stephen Colbert's WØRD segment. Wikiality is a truth that comes into being when enough people agree that it is so (ie: Wikipedia). There has actually been a row on Wikipedia about Wikiality, but it is a boring discussion so I won't link to it here.

If that all bored you to death, then you can make up your own tombstone here.

Morning Show Celebrity Deathmatch!!

2006-10-10T23:20:00.000-04:00

Here in the fair city of Toronto, there is a nest of animosity brewing between a trio of perky morning show couples. Let's meet the contenders:

First, we have Mike and Erin. Don't they look nice?

These two work on CHFI, a smarmy adult-contemporary station that only moms with front-butt jeans listen to when driving their ungrateful brood to school in the mornings. Their TV commercials show them helping families get ready in the morning by hanging out in their house, drinking their orange juice, going through their closets, and trashing their kitchens (yeah, not kidding here).

In the other corner we have Stu and Colleen. Here are their smiling mugs:

Stu and Colleen's producers put better images on the web. Bravo, Stu and Colleen producers. These two host a competing smarmy adult-contemporary morning show on CJEZ, also known as "EZ Rock." There is your first reason to avoid it. The second reason to avoid CJEZ is they have Liza Gibbons as their shill. Stu and Colleen also have television spots, with Liza of course. Now, they don't trash people's houses... I guess they are going for the "we don't want our house trashed by adult-contemporary morning show personalities" demographic. Their demographic does, however, include the moms in front-butt jeans driving their brood to school. Now, Stu and Colleen throw the first punch in their TV spot when Liza asks them some mindless (quelle surprise!) question about how their show will not embarrass front-butt mom's children in the minivan and Stu says (as if inconsolably insulted), "We would NEVER do that!!" and Colleen, eternally perky, turns her hideously toothy grin towards the camera and says, "We want your children laughing with us!" Now, clearly, I take this as a cut against old Mike and Erin up above. I mean, they are THE competing adult-contemporary morning show in Toronto. Score one for Stu and Colleen.

Ah, but things get more complicated. While researching for this post, I ran into the sordid stories behind Stu, Colleen, Erin, and Mike... and these two characters I'll call "Mad Dog" and "Billie." I only call them this because that is what they call themselves.

I couldn't find pictures of "Mad Dog" and Billie (Bad producers!), but there are pictures of them in our subway. Needless to say, "Mad Dog" doesn't really live up to the moniker, visually. He's this normal looking guy, grinning like a fool. Billie is just this normal-looking chick as well. "Mad Dog" and Billie are on CKFM Mix 99.9. Note, they don't really compete for the adult-contemporary, front-butt mom crowd. They are slightly edgier... like aged cheddar.

This is all well and good, but all of these characters have a sordid past. At this point, I shall simply quote from Wikipedia... "CJEZ competes most closely with fellow adult contemporary station CHFI at 98.1. In the mid-2000s, it picked up veteran CHFI morning show host Erin Davis after that station cancelled her show with Bob Magee in favour of Mad-Dog and Billie, later known as Jay and Billie, younger morning hosts who had previously worked in contemporary hit and urban radio at KISS 92 FM. In 2005, CHFI rehired Davis for mornings, also hiring her co-host, longtime CJEZ morning personality Mike Cooper. For its new morning show, CJEZ hired Stu Jeffries and Colleen Rusholme away from Country 95.3." Then "Mad Dog" and Billie slinked over to 99.9.

So we've got the background of the bad blood between all of these guys. Now, with the main event, Justin with the play-by-play:

Justin (in media res):
Stu and Colleen have knocked Mike over, and are proceeding to beat his pudgy body to within inches of his life. Erin is nowhere to be seen, and Mad Dog and Billie are gloating from the corner. Really gloating. Gloating so hard, that they don't see Erin sneak up behind them with a serrated Bowie knife that cuts through their tender young throats like butter. Mike calls out again for help, and Stu and Colleen turn. They are too late. All that they see is to see a bright flash and billowing smoke. When the smoke clears, Erin is nowhere to be seen. All that remains is the lifeless, moderately attractive corpse of Billie and Mad Dog's severed, misshapen head, grinning in that especially dumb way (even in death). Stu and Collen return to pummelling Mike, when suddenly, out of the side-hatch bursts Erin, naked from head to foot, smeared with the blood of Mad Dog, and carrying a large sharpened stick decorated with Billie's ears. Colleen spins around just in time to see Erin throw back her head and ululate wildly as she raises the spear and plunges it deeply into Stu's comb-over. "The fat man's MINE," she shrieks, tearing Colleen's head from her shoulders bare-handed. "Erin?" squeaks Mike. "You bet your sweet fat ass," replies Erin huskily. They then make passionate love.

So there you have it, folks. I am proud to have my blog host the first (and last) ever Toronto Morning Show Celebrity Deathmatch. Note to all of you wanna-be morning show people out there - the Toronto market is screaming for some fresh blood. Just like Erin.

Gratuitous Blog Photos

2006-10-01T10:35:00.000-04:00

I am not above publishing photos simply because I want to. I know this is a horrible misuse of a blog, but I don't care.

Here is Mr. Ivy:

I bought him at Ikea on Saturday when Anna took me out there to shop for cubiculum supplies. I managed to find the ugliest, most wilted little ivy plant I could and I fell in love. He also looked very good in his fashionable white pot. I took him home and watered him up really well, and after he started to perk up, I repotted him to give his roots some breathing room. I also fed him with Miracle Grow and just look at him now! No more wilty man. I think he looks great.

Here is a picture of Roo in a Box:

For some reason, Roo likes to stuff himself in absurdly small spaces. This photo shows him stuffed into your standard-issue shoe box. He looks like a Cat Muffin.

And here is Freelove on the futon:

Isn't she cute?

Offensive smell found

2006-09-25T19:00:00.000-04:00

Justin and I found the offensive smell that was infesting our apartment. It was coming from an unknown spilled substance that was lurking under the fridge (and being warmed by it). I nearly threw up as I entered the epicenter of the stench. After finding part of it lurking beneath a bag of potting soil, my stomach lurched and the next I knew I was in the hallway begging Sweet Mother Mary to chop off my nose.

We mopped up the offensive substance after moving the fridge. We used a liberal amount of bleach followed up with some Simple Green, but we were still unable to totally iradicate the odor. It was then that I sprayed around some Old Spice body spray I got free as a sample, so now the kitchen smells like Dirty Ol' Man instead of Unholy Demon Vomit.

Uncertain what the liquid was, but if I find out, I'm certainly never going to allow it in my home for as long as I live, regardless of how nice it might be before it spoils. Certainly, a week under a fridge didn't do it any good.

Jackass Number Two and a Weird Smell

2006-09-24T00:51:00.000-04:00

So I went to see Jackass Number Two with Justin and our friend Scott. I am a little ashamed of myself, yes, especially since I did find myself laughing at some of it.

Meanwhile, a "weird smell" has developed in our apartment. It smells like spoiled milk. It started a few days ago. Since we've both been sick with a rhinovirus, we couldn't track down the smell very well, but now that we're clearing up, the smell is horrible. We tracked it to under the futon, so we decided to move the futon and clean it up. So we moved the futon and found some strange liquidy substance. We mopped it. Still smelled. We Simple Greened it. Still smelled. We then mopped it with BLEACH. Still smelled. Considering that you can now perform operations on our floor, we decided it must be coming from downstairs. We can only smell it in the futon area, and we know it isn't the futon itself.

We are hoping that it goes away on its own soon.

New Relative and Justin's Cooking

2006-08-27T20:15:00.000-04:00

Two bits of news.

First, I have a new relative, my cousin little Nora Jane:

Isn't she cute?

Second, Justin attempted to cook a meatloaf. The meatloaf probably would have turned out just fine except he forgot that the cake was in the oven in its little plastic cake holder. Needless to say, there was lots of smoke and it wasn't pretty:

The super had to use the fire extinguisher to put out the fire. I was sad:

Justin had to get the plastic off the oven shelf with pliers. At least the plastic didn't stick to the bottom of the stove since there was a nice build-up of grease.

Yale Shmale

2006-08-26T11:23:00.000-04:00

So Lakehead University in Thunder Bay has unvieled a new ad campaign aimed at the Ivy Leagues:

Their website is here.

I actually think it is pretty funny, though universities rarely directly attack one another. Still, if the Ivy Leagues are going to let their degrees go to high bidders, then they deserve the derision. More importantly, it just proves that C students are pretty much the same everywhere, you just have to pay more at the Ivy Leagues. Going to one of those schools is for the social contacts, not necessarily for the education itself, especially at the undergrad level. Of course, sometimes the grad programs can be a little bad about it too, especially certain kinds of business, marketing, and journalism programs (and potentially others as well.)

Meanwhile, check out this video of a kilt blowing up in the wind... in slow motion!

Chicken Pox Salad on Pumpernickel

2006-08-18T22:20:00.000-04:00

The FDA just approved the use of spray-on viruses for use on lunchmeats. The virus spray contains six bacteriophages that kill deadly listeria bacteria. Yum. Really makes me crave a pastrami on rye...

Story here.

The Islands

2006-08-13T13:33:00.000-04:00

Last week, Justin and I had some visitors from New York City, his friend John and his girlfriend Christina. For some reason, we didn't manage to nab a pic of both of them on our camera, but here is a picture of John with Justin on the Big Rock in Cumberland Park in Yorkville, downtown Toronto.

We decided to go to the Islands off the shore in Lake Ontario. We took the ferry across.

The Islands have a small amusement park, regular parks, beaches, and biking/walking paths. They are actually very beautiful and once you get away from the main tourist areas, they are extremely serene.

Oh, Canada!

2006-08-06T17:50:00.000-04:00

And not the Oh! Canada from the song... more of an orgasmic "Oohaa, Canada!!" to express how I feel about being home again. Okay, perhaps that image was a bit too visceral for you kids out there.

So, I'm back, and I've got a cold. Yay. Nothing better than being hot AND having a cold. The cold mostly seems to be restricted to my right nostril, which I have to blow every three seconds or so. The woolies are happy being home and I've been trying to clean up the place. I got rid of a bunch of old clothes and put away all of the stuff I hauled back from the States (all valued under $50/US, officially).

While you are all taking comfort in my return to the Great White North, check out me pal's Swell Blog. He knows cripe-tons about movies. Me, I sit there and think, "Look at the pretty moving pictures! Oh, and there's sound!"

Land of Ahs

2006-07-23T17:41:00.000-04:00

Still in Kansas. I'm spending most of my time either talking to Margretta over tea or slaving away in my parents' yard. Ah, the joys of home ownership. Let me tell you, I hate working in the yard. I especially hate working in my parents' yard. There is so much to do and I feel completely overwhelmed by it.

It is getting warmer here again, but we had a break in the heat so the past couple of days have been rather nice. I'm planning to grill these fabulous Buffalo steaks I bought at the Lawrence Farmer's Market a few days ago. Margretta and I also got some sweet corn there, and some blackberries to make jam. We also decided to make orange Marmalade.

Back in the USSR... er... USA

2006-07-19T00:25:00.000-04:00

Justin and I drove back to Kansas over the weekend and now I am ensconsed in Margretta's apartment with Freelove. Roo is at my parents' house where he attempted to have his way with poor Texaco. I will post pictures later, but the camera went with Justin down to Belle Plaine.

Meanwhile, it has been really hot here... over 40 C (that's 102 F for you Americans out there). The heatwave is supposed to break this weekend, but everyone is melting here.

Thursday is the annual Sidewalk Sale here in Lawrence. It is actually a really fun event. I can't really afford to buy much, but I like to look at what is available.

So now I am watchign cheesy 80's movies before a shower and bed. I realize now this isn't much of a post. Ah well.

Papal Bulls

2006-07-07T12:17:00.000-04:00

Since Anna seemed troubled by the name of the Medievalists' softball team, the Papal Bulls*, I shall take a moment to explain.

We take part in the recreational summer UofT softball league made up of such teams like the English Department's "Chapman's Homer."

We have uniforms with our majestic mascot:Our numbers on the back are in Roman Numerals, of course.

As you can plainly see, we will strike much fear into the hearts of our opponents.

Bullae semper invictae.

* From Wiki: A Papal bull is a special kind of patent or charter issued by a pope and named for the seal (bulla) that was appended to the end to authenticate it.

Canada Day!

2006-07-05T12:14:00.000-04:00

Justin and I celebrated Canada Day (that is July 1st for you non-Canadians out there) by hanging out downtown and going to my softball practice.

Here I am, celebrating away on Bay Street

We then went to my softball practice. I play for the Center for Medieval Studies Papal Bulls:

I look like a pro!

Storms

2006-06-30T15:01:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, Toronto experienced several strong thunderstorms. These were not the awe-inspiring things of Kansas, but they were pretty intense storms for this part of the world. I left the apartment around 1 pm to go to Latin and the sky was ominous. I got downtown around 1:30 and decided I had time to stop into McDonalds for a quick lunch. While enjoying my burger, the sky opened up and it just began to dump rain. I finished lunch and steadied myself for the 15 minute walk to Latin when it started hailing. I had an umbrella, but walking around in hail still didn't seem like a good idea. I waited about 5 minutes, but the rain and hail did not let up, so I took my sandals off and walked to class. The water on the sidewalks was over my feet up to my ankle, and I didn't want to ruin my shoes. I figured the streets woul dbe pretty clean after all of that rain. At least it wasn't hailing anymore.

Oh, wait... it did start to hail again, when I was about halfway there. The hailstones were really cold under my feet, but they were about pea-sized, so nothing dangerous. Still, you never know when hailstones will suddenly get huge on you. I got to Latin a little late, but I was soaked. Despite the fact that I had an umbrella, it really only served to keep my upper half dry. My skirt was absolutely soaked. I could wring water out of it.

But walking around in the rain with my shoes off was sorta fun. I felt like a little kid. I could have done without the hail, of course, and I don't like being outside when there is lightning, since that is dangerous, but otherwise it was fun. I didn't like sitting in Latin all soaked, but what can you do? I hope the Canada Day celebrations tomorrow will not be rained out.

Correction: Horrifying Ontario Spiders

2006-06-25T11:16:00.000-04:00

My worst fears have been realized. Thanks to a comment by nosetotale, who responded to my comment on the biting insects post below that I didn't believe there to be any spiders to note up here in Toronto, I learned about our friend the Dock Spider (Pisauridae Dolomedes for you scientists out there).

Dock Spiders skiff across the surface of the water hunting aquatic insects or small fish. That's right SMALL FISH. This is as horrifying to me as those Amazon spiders that hunt birds. They can reach sizes of up to 8 cm and are Ontario's largest spider. The picture to the left shows one with a Toonie, which is around 3 cm in diameter. They are apparently very abundant in Cottage Country. To be perfectly honest, this information is enough to keep me permanently out of Cottage country as spiders absolutely love to chomp on me, and knowing my luck, I would fall in a nest of these suckers. Their bites are not "medically significant," meaning they are not aggressively poisonous, but if they are in any way like a wolf spider, perhaps their bites would bother some people more than others.

Ontario also has wolf spiders, which are pretty ubiquitous throughout North America, as well as Crab Spiders. Now, in my stomping ground in the US, we have lots of wolf spiders and crab spiders, and the wolf spiders just love to bite me and they do grow to the size of yams. In fact, one that was in our house was so huge that I thought it was a picture of a spiders, since it was sitting on a piece of newspaper. Dock Spiders are found in neighboring states to mine, so I would image that watery areas there may harbor (hah hah) these critters, but I, thankfully, did not live near any and, frankly, I will not be a lake-dweller anytime soon.

Roo would actually enjoy living by a lake in Northern Ontario since his fur protects him from flying insects and he loves to eat large spiders. He eats the middles and leaves the legs.

The Trillium Controversy

2006-06-23T17:45:00.000-04:00

The Liberal government of Ontario, the government everyone loves to hate, has changed the provincial logo at the tune of over $200,000 Canadian (that's around $5 for you Americans out there).

People are outraged. You can read the story here, and the reader reactions here. I can save you the effort of actually reading the reactions and say that pretty much everyone hates the new logo. I have to agree with this on this one. I prefer the cleaner, older logo designs to the new "corporate" one that doesn't really resemble a trillium so much as, as one reader described it, "a Christmas tree about to fall over." For those of you who do not know what a trillium is, here is a picture of one:

People are also complaining because the new Ontario logo resembles the Liberal party's logo. Personally, I don't really see a huge resemblance save for the slanty thing they have going... but perhaps I am looking at the wrong logo.

Anyway, this, along with the last Liberal corruption scandal with some advertising agency and a piddly amount of money, passes for controversy in Canada. Frankly, while I DO consider redesigning logos to be a huge waste of time, the fiasco with the University of Kansas versus Kutztown University is a case in point, I think the Canadans should count themselves as lucky that this is as bad as it gets.

The Newest Canadian

2006-06-22T19:36:00.000-04:00

The Dalai Lama has been given honorary Canadian citizenship. I think in honor of this, the Enlightened One should make sure to say "eh?" at the end of all of his sentences.

From the Toronto Star: The Dalai Lama has been given honorary Canadian citizenship. Members of Parliament agreed unanimously today to an NDP motion to grant the Tibetan spiritual leader the honour. It's the third time Parliament has approved such a measure. The only other honorary citizenships were bestowed on iconic South African leader Nelson Mandela, and on Raoul Wallenberg, credited with saving the lives of thousands of Hungarian Jews during the Second World War. The Dalai Lama is scheduled to visit Vancouver in September — his second visit to Canada in as many years.

Canada's Biting Insects

2006-06-09T12:16:00.000-04:00

Canada is famous for many things. Poutine, Mounties, and excessive politeness. However, within Canada, different aspects of Canada receive more attention, most especially the insects.

No one has bugs like Canada. Sure, the tropics have, on an organism level, nastier, uglier, and more Indiana Jones-worthy insects, but for sheer appetite and numbers, Canada gets the prize. Things aren't too bad here in Toronto as insect swarms tend to keep to more pastoral regions, but if you head north in Ontario, you will be utterly eaten alive.

This story in the Toronto Star reports about a man outside of Huntsville, ON, which lies about three hours north of Toronto, who attempted to evade police by hiding in the brush. However, he was forced to give himself into custody after being eaten alive by mosquitoes. The police used ample amounts of repellent and were able to wait the suspect out.

Besides your standard mosquito, Canada is also home to many other insects who enjoy biting you, and who also happen to live in large swarms thereby when you come across one of these little guys who likes to bite you, he brings along all five trillion of his friends (who also like to bite you.)

One of these insects is the Black Fly, pictured. The Canadian government even has a webpage about these critters here. In fact, they have many pages about all of the various sorts of biting flies this lovely country has to offer. They state (almost proudly) that there are more black flies here than mosquitoes. There's a reason to visit.

Black flies are so bad that Wade Hemsworth, a noteable Canadian, wrote a song about them after working in Northern Ontario on a surveying crew in the summer. The lyrics follow, taken from this website where you can download a version of the song to hear.

'Twas early in the spring when I decide to go
For to work up in the woods of North Ontario.
The unemployment office said they'd send me through
To the Little Abitibi with the survey crew

And the black flies, the little black flies
Always the black fly no matter where you go
I'll die with the black fly a Pickin' my bones
In North Ontar-i-o-i-o, In North Ontar-i-o

The man Black Tobey was the captain of the crew
He said, I'm gonna tell you boys, what we're gonna do
They want to build a power dam; we must find a way
For to make the Little Ab flow around the other way

So we survey the east, survey to the west.
We couldn't make our minds up how to do it best
Little Ab, Little Ab, what shall I do?
I'm all but goin' crazy on the survey crew.

'Twas blackfly, blackfly, everywhere
A-crawlin' in your whiskers, a-crawlin' in your hair
A-swimmin' in the soup and a-swimmin' in the tea
The devil take the blackfly and let me be.

Black Tobey fell to swearin'; the work went slow
The state of our morale was a-gettin' pretty low
The flies swarmed heavy; it was hard to catch a breath
As you staggered up and down the trail talkin' to yourself

The bull cook's name was Blind River Joe
If it hadn't been for him we'd 've never pulled through
He bound up our bruises and he kidded us for fun
And he lathered us with bacon grease and balsam gum

At last the job was over, Black Tobey said, we're through
With the Little Abitibi and the survey crew!
'Twas a wonderful experience and this I know;
I'll never go again to North Ontar-i-o

Also famous even outside of Canada are the no-see-ums. No-see-ums are biting midges and they are so small that you probably will only know they are around when they start sucking your blood. Isn't that fun? An invisible blooksucker. Everyone's favorite party guest. One is pictured here.

Personally, I have yet to run in to any of these biting insects, though my experiences with mosquitoes in Kansas is that they are not that attracted to me. Not that I want to trapse into Northern Ontario to find out.

And at this point you are probalby asking yourself, why in the world would anyone live in Northern Ontario? The snows, the insects, the bogs, the bears... and I'll say right now that they don't. Hardly anyone lives in Northern Ontario, and those who do, well, yeah, I don't know either.

Terrorists in Toronto

2006-06-03T10:48:00.000-04:00

So it seems someone, somewhere, wants Toronto blown up. The RCMP (Yes, the world-famous Royal Canadian Mounted Police) apparently foiled a bombing plot and broke up a terrorism ring right here in Toronto.

Now, I cannot, for the life of me, think of any reason someone would want to blow up anything in Toronto. Okay, the buildings are, for the most part, obscenely ugly, and the public transit isn't the best, though sources say the TTC was not the target. The CN Tower is sort of stupid looking, but it is useful as a compass of sorts, so you wouldn't want to blow that up or you'd get lost....

Anyway, we've seemingly been saved from something devistating, which is good since I'm not in Toronto to get blown up. Getting a PhD is hard enough without bombs going off around you. Still, blow up Canada? That is like hitting your little sister. I mean, Canada barely has a military and there is not a lot of support for Canada's activity in Afghanistan. Canada is not taking part in any of the Iraq situation. Perhaps this plot is in retaliation for the planned Tim Horton's in Kandahar... It is true, their doughnuts are dangerously addictive.

Transit strike

2006-05-29T18:19:00.000-04:00

Ah, the joys of living in a large city in the summer. Lots of cars, lots of heat, and lots of angry transit workers. Makes for a nice combination.

Today, I weathered my first urban transit strike. One was threatened last year, but was averted at the last minute. Now, I live a good distance from campus. Not what you would call walking distance, but if I absolutely had to walk, I could. It isn't even the distance, really, it is just the time it would take me to walk that far. Walking for four hours during a day just to go to a one hour class is a little silly. Thankfully, we have a car. Lots of people don't though.

So I had heard about the strike possibility last night, and when I woke up this morning, traffic was backed up outside as far as the eye could see either way. It was also quite warm today... 34 C (or about 93 for you Americans out there). This did not make idling in a hot car any more fun, let me tell you. So, I had to drive to campus. This sucks for two reasons. One, the parking is rediculous. $1.50 for a hour of parking. Two, the traffic. Oh God, the traffic. It was insane. I actually found a reasonably good route... I took Crescent Circle down to Avenue Road, then hopped on Dupont and wove through the back streets until I hit St. George, which no one uses because it doesn't really go anywhere but through campus. Avenue was very heavy traffic, but it was moving better than Bathurst would have since there is no parking along it and there is along Bathurst. So, I got to campus in "only" 40 minutes. On a normal day, this would take me 15-20 minutes and in the middle of the night, 10. I think if I had taken Bathurst, I could have burned up an hour.

I left early so I wouldn't get stuck with everyone then leaving work at 5, but it still took me 30 minutes to get home... with a very quick stop into the store. The traffic is still awful out there, but at least the buses are going again (though in this heavy traffic, not going very well I shouldn't think), but the subway will not be up until 7 pm or so. Hopefully tomorrow, things will be back to "normal."

Workers of the world, unite! The machinery of capitalism is oiled with the blood of the workers! There, I've been Marxist.

X-Men: the Last Stand

2006-05-27T02:08:00.000-04:00

A small group of us went to see the new X-Men movie tonight. The place was sold out, so that was fun. I like watching a movie with a bunch of people. However, we were sitting right in front of an entire row of the f*ckwits who worked at the Apple Store in the Yorkdale Mall. Now you must realize that we got to the movie a full hour before its run time so we could get good seats (and good seats we got). Sadly, we sat in front of f*ckwits, and we had to listen to said f*ckwits for this entire hour. If you've never had to listen to a conversation between multiple f*ckwits before (much less an hour of it), consider yourself a fortunate man who is smiled upon by the Almighty and walks a blessed path. I, however, lost several braincells due to a self-destruction mechanism brought on by the refusal to process f*ckwitty conversation. These were the same f*ckwits who actually CHEERED during the iPod commercial that ran before the movie. Can you spell T-O-O-L-S, boys and girls?

The movie: I liked it. Didn't see X-Men 1 and 2 yet, but we're renting them, and then I can make a better judgment. I've always been a big Storm fan, so I got lots of Storm and I was happy. Sadly, no backstory, but that's the problem with Storm. I liked all of the different mutants, but the film was superficial at best. Still, if I wanted something deep, I probably wouldn't look for it in a movie theatre. But I do have to add, the new Pirates of the Carribean movie looks pretty neat, despite the fact that I really dislike both Orlando Bloom (who can't act, not even to the point of calling it "bad acting") and Keira Knightly (who can act, just not terribly well). Depp looks as great as ever and the plot looks like a lot of fun. Saw a trailer for Superman as well, but the jury is still out for me about whether that will actually be good or not.

So would I recommend the film? If you like lots of gratuitous action and not a lot of character development, you'll love it. If you like well-written conversation and well-thought-out, logical plotlines, you'll probably find the movie annoying or downright bad. Me, I got what I wanted: lots of mutants and lots of fighting.

Now Opening in the blogosphere...

2006-05-25T09:05:00.000-04:00

My boyfriend, Justin, now has a blog. This is also available in my navigation bar to the left. He is funny and will have a lot of insightful things to say about bathrooms. If you are interested in my boyfriend's bathroom observations, this blog's for you.

Attack cat

2006-05-24T11:01:00.000-04:00

I drew this from a funny story on CNN.

The cat (pictured at left with his owner) likes to sneak up on his owner's neighbors and attack them.

"He attacks from the back," Kettman said Monday. "You never see it coming. He has six toes on every foot, which constitutes a very formidable weapon."

He's a pretty big cat too, so I'm sure it is no fun. Personally, I'm not sure why his owner lets him out at this point, considering that he likes to attack people. Good thing he is not a tiger. He has gotten himself and his owner in a lot of trouble. I'm hoping he wins his court case, but he should probably be kept on a leash.

Freelove!

2006-05-21T23:15:00.000-04:00

This is just a picture of Freelove sleeping on the futon. Why? No reason. She's just cute.

Enjoy.

New computer!

2006-05-19T18:52:00.000-04:00

So today, we bought a new laptop for me for my adventures into Comprehensive Exam land. It is a new MacBook, the low-end Apple laptop that has the dual-core Intel processors. It also has a wide-aspect screen and these funny push-buttons for a keyboard that I am still getting used to. My fingernails keep scraping them in funny ways. I really like the computer though. I've never really had my own laptop, so it is a strange feeling to have one. I'll post some pictures of it. One nice thing about the computer is it comes with iSight, a built-in camera. So I can do video chat on iChat. Next is to make a cute cozy for it!

Exercise!

2006-05-14T21:03:00.000-04:00

Today, I decided to take a trip down the Beltway Trail here in Toronto. It is a trail that runs from Eglinton West station through town to Yonge with a circut around a large cemetery. I didn't go that far down the trail, but I walked about a mile down and then jogged the mile back. Not a huge accomplishment for some people, but it made me feel pretty good. I definitely need to get more exercise and the trail is so beautiful. It is like walking in a forest.

Spring Cleaning

2006-05-13T12:07:00.000-04:00

So I finally had it with the state of our bedroom. Dirty clothes everywhere, more dust bunnies than the population of Ontario, and a non-specific bad smell. I did six loads of laundry, though there are still a couple more to do, we swept, we mopped, we dusted, and we got it pretty clean. I feel a lot better now since I hate living in a mess and it is definitely better to tackle it before it gets out of hand. My next project is to go through my clothes again and do a second purge of stuff. I have all of these...well, I have three boxes of stored clothes in the closet. I would like to get rid of at least one more box in addition to switching out my summer and winter wardrobes. Honestly, I don't want to haul around a bunch of stuff I will never use again.

Today, I'm going to get some reading for my disseration in, watch a little TV, and probably go to the grocery store... I'm always going to the grocery store.

Last night we went to see Art School Confidential. Having gone through art school myself, I found it quite funny and I liked the plot. I recommend it, why not?

The Zoo

2006-05-10T11:05:00.000-04:00

Last weekend, Justin and I went to the Toronto Zoo. It was fantastic. I am a big fan of zoos anyway because I like to be so close to the animals. I am also glad some injured animals have a place to live where people take care of them and like to be around them. As well, all of the kinds of animals that need animal friends have them, since the zoo is so big. There are seven elephants! Elephants are one of my favorite animals. They also have two cheetahs, a bunch of lions, hippos, a white rhinocerous, a very sleepy tapir, lots of apes and monkeys of different kinds, and geese. That was the funniest thing about the zoo was all the geese that were hanging out there, getting food. They even had signs up explaining aggressive goose behavior and how to avoid an aggressive goose (mostly during mating season). The zoo is huge. We spent four hours there and only saw Africa and Indo-Malaysia. There is a Canada section, the Americas, and Eurasia. So, we'll need to go back. Yay!

Dying of the Plague

2006-04-10T18:30:00.000-04:00

Justin brought the plague into our home and now I am dying of it. Lots of phlegm, headache... coughing? You bet. So now we're both sick and all I can manage to do is to lie around grading undergrad term papers. Blech. Probably not the fast track to feeling better, but at least I can be productive and sick at the same time, which is pretty rare. For now, back to the sanitarium.

Our new tree!

2006-04-09T17:14:00.000-04:00

Today, we adopted a bonzai tree:

The mud men playing Go were a gift from Justin's friend, Michael Sawyer who is stationed in Korea. We bought the tree from a man selling them on a corner. He made all of the trees himself and he had some really beautiful ones we couldn't afford. Anyway, Justin and I love our tree and we'll need to give it a name eventually.

Poor Kansas

2006-04-05T10:51:00.000-04:00

Kansas has been, and I am sure will continue to be, the brunt of many jokes. Here's the newest:

There is a good Kansas joke in one of the old Bond movies too, where Bond is being shown the Diabolical Weapon du Jour by whatever bad guy was in that movie... Dr. No or something... and he mentions something like the missle could blow up Kansas, but he wouldn't bother because no one would notice for several months.

So Kansas is much maligned, and it is deserving of most of it considering how horrendously mismanaged the place is. Still, it COULD be a cool place. And I can tolerate most of the joking... just not the Wizard of Oz whitticisms. Wow, I was quite alliterative in this post...

539 days without sun and counting...

2006-03-24T11:28:00.000-05:00

So it is "Springtime in Canada" and that means the sun will never come out again. It doesn't really rain, but it isn't sunny either. Just that grey cloudcover that occasionally becomes more or less grey. I am beginning to realize why the British picked this particular location to set up shop. Now don't get me wrong, I like overcast conditions. I found Kansas to be far too sunny. However, having SOME sun now and then would be nice. At least the wind has died down. We've been having terrible windstorms where it would be so windy you just wanted to kill yourself to get out of the wind.

And I will also apologize for the immense stupidity of this blog entry, but I have to write on SOMETHING and due to having just run the hellish gauntlet that is presentation season in Grad school, my brain is very dead so I can only think about the weather.

Hiatus

2006-03-16T17:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I took an unexpected and prolonged hiatus from my blogging. Ah, so much happened up here in Canada. The Olympics, an academic conference... well, I guess that is pretty much it. Personally, I've felt totally swamped and I have very little memory of the last couple of months. I had a really crazy birthday party, I do remember that...

Anyway, I hope I am back in the blogging saddle and I hope to continue to report on life in Canada. However, I also think I will branch out a little more and just discuss things in general, as I don't always have a flippant observation about my surroundings.

Just to make a comment, I loved the Maple Leaf Touques the Canadian atheletes wore during the Olympics. Very choice.

Election Eve

2006-01-22T23:47:00.000-05:00

So, Canadians will be going to the polls tomorrow, and they look poised to toss out Martin's Liberal government. The election has been an interesting one for me. This is the first time I've been living in another country that is going through an election cycle. It is also uncomfortable for me since I could very well be affected by whatever new policies will be coming down the political pipeline, but I have absolutely no say in what will happen. This experience has definitely made me appreciate the plight of immigrants in America and other nations, who pay taxes, earn their livelihoods, raise their families, and in some cases, die in a country in which they have no voice. Some countries, like America and Canada, have very liberal policies about becoming citizens, thereby gaining the right to vote. Other countries, such as Germany, do not allow (or at least did not allow 8 years ago) naturalized citizens the right to vote, regardless of how long you've been there.

It looks as if the Conservatives win, they will have a minority government, which means that they, as a party, garnered the most votes amongst all the parties, but that they failed to earn enough votes to form a coalition in the parliment to break 50%. This is basically the equivalent of different parties controlling the Executive and Legislative branches in the US government. Of course, Stephen Harper's platform worries me as he is espousing much of what Bush believes. He wants to get rid of same-sex marriage, reduce health and child care benefits, he wants to reduce taxes and he wants to send troops to Iraq. I think of all of his policies, this last one will be the most unpopular. Canadians really don't like it when one of their own is killed in Afghanistan, but Iraq is much more dangerous. Of course, the Canadian troops may not see a lot of action in Iraq, instead being kept safe for political reasons (so I have to ask how useful such a gesture really is).

Some Canadians believe that polls are not a good indicator of actual voting practices. They believe that people will tell the pollsters one thing, and actually do something else at the polls. Apparently this happens with some regularity up here, but even so the Conservatives are enjoying a good lead over the Liberals. The NDP is what confuses the issue, as the NDP has around 20% of the vote. Liberals have between 25-30%, and the Conservatives have 35%-40%. The rest of the votes go to Bloc Quebecquois and Green. The Liberals, NDP, and Greens tend to form coalitions, and between them they have around 55%. BQ goes back and forth, but they tend to side with the Conservatives on certain issues. However, they support Liberal policy in others. Their main platform is one of separation that they play up or down depending on the political environment.

Alberta, one of the plains provinces, is the most Conservative province. British Columbia is like California flipped upside down. The Vancouver area is heavily NDP, the north is Conservative. The Atlantic provinces lean Conservative, Ontario is Liberal, Quebec is either BQ or Liberal, though Montreal has a lot of Greens.

Anyway, I'll write tomorrow about the election results.

Keep on keepin' on.

Animal Friends

2006-01-18T23:50:00.000-05:00

I have been moved recently by stories of inter-species love. No, not that movie on Cinemax about the nice housewife and the very friendly Great Dane.

First, the story of Gohan and Aochan. Gohan (which means "tasty rice dish") is a pygmy hamster who is best friends with Aochan, a Japanese rat snake. Zookeepers, unable to convince Aochan to eat frozen mice, put Gohan in the cage as a treat. Aochan didn't want to eat Gohan either, and now they are fast friends. Aochan has since decided to eat the frozen mice. "I've never seen anything like it. Gohan sometimes even climbs onto Aochan to take a nap on his back," Yamamoto, the zookeeper, said.

Second is the story of Owen and Mzee, orphaned hippo and ancient tortoise. Owen befriended Mzee after being stranded, then rescued, in the ocean, and has seemed to have adopted Mzee as his mommy. At first, the tortoise would have none of it, but now they are like two peas.

I don't know why, but these stories really touch me. It makes me wonder why we humans can't get along better, if hippos and tortoises... or even better, rat snakes and hamsters can get along.

On the other hand, Freelove turned into "Street Freelove" the other day, getting in Roo's face and growling at him, seemingly unprovoked. She proceeded to smack him on the face, which inspired him to jump up and chase her. I don't know what set her off, but needless to say, Roo settled her down. It was all rather random, but they are friends again. Freelove never growls, though her growls are really not scary at all... they are rather cute... and so it is probably best that she does not growl as the growl doesn't really work.

Keep on keepin' on.

Skates, Shoelaces, and Other Things

2006-01-11T22:17:00.000-05:00

So, Anna and I went to IKEA and then we went to Canadian Tire and at the Canadian Tire, I acquired a pair of hockey skates. Fortunately for me, I fit into Junior sizes, which means that the same pair of skates is about $40 cheaper than the adult version.

Wanting to do right by my new skates, I researched lacing techniques and found this website.

Then Anna, Justin and I went ice skating. She reports about it (with pictures) on her blog. I had a great time. I'm obsessing about perfecting my hockey stop. Well, perfecting is a strong word when your level of skill amounts to doing it incorrectly and falling over. Still, I am dead-set on learning how to do this very cool manoeuver. For some reason it is important to me. More important than reading Panofsky.

Last night, I made a yummy pizza with a whole wheat crust. Making pizzas is so much fun, and I can make a lot of them for not very much money, and they taste like something you'd get in a restaurant. So I've been on a pizza-making kick lately.

I found this on line: Longest ear hair, according to the Guinness Book of World Records: 5.2 inches. Yeah, ew is right.

So, I don't have any really amusing anectodes that are coming to mind right now, but I have fallen behind on my blogging, so here is another offering.

Keep on keepin' on.

At the border

2006-01-11T10:13:00.000-05:00

I thought I would share the story of my border crossing back into Canada from my trip back to the States over the holiday.

Going over the border has become a vexing experience for me. I hate going back to the US because the US border officials always look at you like you are going to cause the collapse of Western society simply by entering the country. I start worrying about if I got on some "Neer-do-well" list because of the Dominican Republic pen pal I had in the second grade. Coming back into Canada is also worrisome because I'm not a Canadian citizen and they could, if they wanted to, deny me entry, which would really mess everything up.

So when I hit the border, I am usually pretty nervous, either because I am being looked at like the greatest assassin the world has known, or because I am trying to get into foreign lands. And then there is the "declaring" of stuff. I don't know what to declare, to be honest. Do I tell them about the granola bars? Do I tell them about the cookies I baked for the trip? What about the beef jerky? Does it have Mad Cow? Is it MAD JERKY?!?! *deep breath* See, I don't deal with border crossings well.

The US crossing wasn't so bad, but when I came back to Canada, ah, that was different.

I drove down with Justin, but he stayed in the States longer to be with his family, and I had to get back because I had a paper due by the first. He was going to fly up with his sister in a few days, so I drove back on my own, with the Wegies (that is another story). So I left the country with one person and two cats, and I am returning with just the two cats. This is important to remember. Sadly, I did not remember that. Well, I guess "to remember" isn't the right verb, but... I don't want to spoil the story.

So... it doesn't help matters that by the time I got to the border I had been driving a good 14 hours, so I was a little goofy just from being on the road too long (see former post about the Dumb Bunnies). I stopped at the little booth and handed the guy my passport. He looked at it and started in with the standard questions... Where do you live? What do you do? etc. So then he asked "How long were you in the US?"

At this point, I have to make a quick aside. Since I am a -resident- of Canada, I get the Canadian resident questions, not the visitor questions. A visitor question is "How long will you remain in Canada?" Only your home country asks you "How long were you away?" However, now the US asks me how long I'll be in the US and Canada inquires as to my whereabouts. It is like getting new parents...

Anyway, back to the story. Border Guy asks me "How long were you in the US?" and I say, exactly, "Oh, I think we left on the 21st." Border Guy (we know him pretty well now, let's call him BG) ... so BG pauses for a moment and asks, and I have to stress this here, asks this with complete calm, "So... do you have someone in the trunk?" Refer to the above paragraph where I discuss how nervous border crossings make me. Imagine my surprise when he asked this little question of me. Did my blood pressure go up? Sure. Did my face turn white? Probably. Did all those little men who pull the levers in my skull all start running around in a huge panic, bumping into each other, screaming, and jumping out of my ears to save themselves? You bet.

I was going over, again and again in my head, why he would EVER ask me that question. Perhaps there WAS someone in the trunk! Perhaps I had been dripping blood all the way back from Kansas! Why is he asking me this? Why?! Why?! Why?!

The look on BG's face sorta changed from complete calm to slight concern. I said as calmly as possible, an acting job for which I am certain to be overlooked at the Oscars, "Um, no... no one in the trunk..." I was looking around the car. BG started looking around in the car too. So then BG asks, again, quite calmly, "So where are you hiding them?" A few more little men jumped out of my ears. What was he talking about?!? "Hiding?" I said.

BG had another officer in his cubiculum with him. The other officer (hey, we know him pretty well now too, we'll call him AO) , er AO, was sorta smirking. I remember that now... didn't then. Of course, I was down a few little men, so I wasn't thinking very clearly. "I'm not hiding anyone," I said, probably looking like a mink in a fur trap. Finally, I did myself a very big favor and asked, "Why...?"

"Oh," BG said, "you said, 'we', so I was just wondering where the other people were."

After taking an non-scientific poll on the matter, I realize now that BG was joking. Those Canadians, God love them, just love to be funny. It is as if Canada is a great garden of comedians and the US plucks the juiciest and ripest for themselves, leaving some low-hanging fruit like our friend BG to give me fits at the border.

I tried to laugh a little bit. "I drove down with my boyfriend, but he's flying up later," I said, at this point grinning like I probably did have someone in the trunk, and that this was a silly cover story my Boss, Don Guido, told me to say. Seems plausible. At this point, BG seems to actually be thinking that I must be up to something, because I didn't seem to have gotten his joke. Perhaps I am smuggling something!! Canada: saving the world through humor! BG looks around in my car a little more, just to make certain the empty passenger seat didn't suddenly transmogrify into a kilo of cocaine, but then he decides I was tortured enough and he gives me my passport back. AO is still grinning like a fool behind him. AO isn't a comedian himself, though he seems to like the sketch comedy routine going on in front of him.

So I continue on, stopping off quickly to stretch my legs and get my blood pressure down. And I nearly looked in the trunk, just to make sure...

Keep on keepin' on.

Craziness!!

2006-01-09T23:19:00.000-05:00

So , I'm downstairs unloading the recycling in the trash room and I take a gander around as the room is unusually full of trash. I don't know if it is some genetic predeliction toward being a baglady, but I just love going through stuff other people don't want. You find real gems. I love finding useful things because I feel as though the universe as provided for me all on its own. To date, I have found in the trash room:

A really expensive piece of carry-on luggage with a broken zipper. Fifteen minutes with a needle, thread, and some wire clippers and I fixed the zipper, providing me with a really expensive piece of luggage that works just fine.

A small endtable covered with the stickiest, nastiest tape I have ever seen. However, Windex took that stuff right off and now I have a perfectly good endtable for the bedroom (we needed another one anyway).

A lampshade. It is dark purple, but perfectly fine. One of ours was crushed in the move, so I replaced it with the good lampshade. Hey, those things are expensive, even at IKEA.

And today, I found an old Nintendo NES game cartridge for a game simply called "Ice Hockey" (I can't wait to play it), and I found exactly $4.62 in change (mostly pennies and nickels) someone had thrown away. THROWN... AWAY... They threw MONEY... AWAY. Can I express this any better. Money. Thrown away MONEY. I mean, I can accept someone losing money... we've all done that, but to simply throw it away? I mean, this person threw away a meal at McDonald's They threw away two bus rides. They threw away half a pack of cigarettes. Crazy man. Anyway, it is my $.62 now. I also found in the change a penny from Bermuda and a penny from 1946 with George VI on it. Cool.

Keep on keepin' on.

Church of Reality

2006-01-08T13:53:00.000-05:00

Hi all. My friend sent this to me, and while I am normally not at all susceptible to evangelism, I have to say that the First One makes some good points about switching to the Church of Realism.

What I have realized about the Church of Realism is that they need someone to edit their site. I can't stand misspellings. If you want someone to take you seriously, you have to spell correctly and use good grammar. However, since I respect Reality, I am also not a person who will let the conveyance of a message get in the way of the message itself. That is like not reading a great book because you don't like the color of the paper.

So while this doesn't have anything to do with Canada perse, though I think the Canadians, overall, do a better job of living in Reality than Americans do, I offer it to the world.

Get Real.

Keep on keepin' on.

Shameless Promotion

2006-01-06T14:16:00.000-05:00

This post is only to shamelessly promote my cousin's website Red Glare (there is also a link on the left). For those antiauthoritarian-minded people out there, check it out.

On Vacation

2006-01-06T00:29:00.000-05:00

So, I've been on a real vacation for the past few days, playing lots of Paper Mario on the GameCube, reading more Dante, and baking. Tonight, I watched the Junior World Championship Gold Metal game in hockey - Canada vs. Russia. Canada won, 5-0. It was a very good game, the players were appropriately vicious toward one another.

Today, I read about the funniest quote I can imagine, which is this:

"It's as if we were to find pictures of Jesus on the cross from the time when he was really alive."

-- Mary Miller, Mayan art expert, Yale University

Now, I don't work at Yale, and I don't consider myself an "expert" on much, but since Jesus supposedly died on the cross, then why would there ever be pictures of him on the cross from "the time when he was really alive"? I don't know either. Well, Mary doesn't bill herself as an Early Christian expert, and that is probably a good thing.

Keep on keepin' on...

Trashed by CNN

2005-12-29T12:21:00.000-05:00

Okay, I have to take this personally. Miles O'Brian (not my favorite person under normal circumstances) decided to trash Toronto on American Morning. Read here the Toronto Star article about it. He said, "The murder rate in Toronto has doubled this year," Miles O'Brien said. "There's a whole, you know, crime spree underway." Okay, sure the murder rate HAS doubled, that is not wrong, but let's keep things in perspective, folks. The murder rate in Toronto is STILL lower than Vancouver and every other US city of comparable size. So the whole "There's a crime spree underway" comment is simply false, unless you want to call the jump to three burgleries from one a "spree". Yes, violence has increased in Toronto, and these very public murders get a lot of attention, but much of the violence in Toronto is like the violence anywhere else: between people who know each other in a somewhat private arena.

Frankly, a lot of people have been killed up here this year, but the American media has latched onto the Boxing Day murder, I believe, because a cute, white girl was killed. The American media is in love with horrible things happening to pretty white girls. It is as if they are fetishizing the whole thing. Many black people were killed in Toronto this year, but the US didn't pick up on that. I'm not saying that someone getting gunned down at the Eaton Center on a busy shopping day is okay and shouldn't get attention, but I have to wonder if an immigrant had been shot, or a darker-colored person, would the US media have picked up on it? Is it a "crime spree" because white people are in the crossfire? Was the comment in retaliation for Canadian politicians suggesting that this sort of violence is being exported by the US through their music, movies, and general disregard for racial and social inequities that breed this sort of behavior? I have to wonder.

Personally, despite the recent "crime spree", I feel as safe in Toronto as I have felt anywhere. Every major American city I've been in, I've been told of the "bad" neighborhoods. Granted, we have some less-than-picturesque places here, but I've never been warned off of any area. I've never felt threatened by anyone, and many people, even here in Toronto, leave their doors unlocked, especially during the day. It just irritates me that there seems to be some sort of Canadian smear campaign down in the US. The Ambassador said the politicians can't use the relationship with the US as a campaign issue. Excuse me? I'm glad the politicians basically told him to shut up and get lost, as it isn't any of his business. Perhaps the US administration is worried that Canada will become more Liberal? I don't know.

Anyway, my apologies for the rant. If any of you meet Miles O'Brien, kick him for me, please.

Keep on keepin' on.

Snails and Dumb Bunnies

2005-12-27T16:18:00.000-05:00

I have returned to the Great White North from my brief sojourn in the States, and due to the 18-hour drive, I had much time to think about what I was going to say about my trip. The visit itself was typical Christmas-time fare, and the drive, I suppose, was fairly typical too, but as the drive ticked me off more, I simply have to get my irritations off my chest.

The Good Creator has blessed the world with diverse creatures, all of which enrich the complex fabric of life. The highway is no different. After being on the highway for a long time (12+ hours), you start to develop a strange view of the world. Cars are not simply things to transport people around, they become animals in their own right, and the person behind the wheel is simply the brain. Like people, you don't take much notice of most of the cars around you. They keep to themselves, they are neat, reasonably clean, and they don't get in your way, just like the people you don't notice. But some cars you do notice. They are gregarious, they are covered with bumper stickers, or, in the case of the many I noticed on the way home, they have strange personality quirks. Drive long enough and you start to form relationships with others on the road, especially on a big traveling day like Dec. 26th, a time when we are all staying on the road for miles and miles.

As far as these types of noticeable drivers go, the primary irritant is The Jerk. The Jerk is the one who cuts you off, speeds up and slows down, drives really fast, and is definitely the one that, when a lane is closed ahead for construction, will drive fast in the closed lane and force his way in farther up, instead of properly getting in the queue and waiting his turn. This is The Jerk, we all hate them, even other Jerks. I am definitely not a Jerk and most people aren't, which is why they are so noticeable.

Then there are Snails. Snails are those people who so love the speed they have chosen on their cruise control that they are absolutely unwilling, unless circumstances become extreme, to change their speed. They have absolutely no concept that the left lane is for passing, not for cruising, but they feel, in their comfort at 79 mph that because the person in the right lane is only going 78.5 mph that they are, in fact, passing them. In my book, "passing" does not involve a slow creep past the other person over the course of 12 miles. It involves putting your foot on the gas and moving around them, then resuming your previous speed, just like on the back highways. On the back, two-lane highways that were once the rule in America, you couldn't exactly hang out on the left-hand side of the road or someone would come over the next hill and nail you. But with the growth of the Eisenhower Interstate System, and the invention of cruise control, Snails evolved. And who said evolution isn't real? From Snails come the term "Snail race", where two cars are, indeed, barrelling along at 78 mph, one going incrementally faster than the other, but both are tying up about 50 cars all wanting to go 80+ creating a huge highway bottleneck, and much hatred to those of us caught up in the Snail Race who have somewhere to be.

Closely related to the Snail is the Lefty. Lefties just love the left lane. They want to buy land there and retire, picket fence and all. Lefties come from all throughout the human demographic, at least according to my observations on I-70. I don't know why they like the left lane so much. Perhaps the view is better. Perhaps they have a predeliction for yellow as opposed to white. Perhaps they are just stupid, I don't know. Lefties can be, albeit probably temporarily, cured. Shooting past their right side at 90 mph typically jolts them into getting back into the right lane. But some Lefties are so committed that even this technique is unsuccessful.

While we're on the subject of passing, I must mention another type of driver, Faster-than-thou. Faster-than-thou is "pass"ive aggressive, he hates to be passed. I say "he" because this type is invariably male, and often driving a car with a macho-sounding name like "Charger" or "Mustang". Faster-than-thou actually gets mad and takes it very personally if you dare to pass him. It doesn't matter that he was happily cruising along at 75 mph before you came along at 80 mph, no no. While passing him, you might as well roll down your window, spit, toss and egg on him, and flip him off while you go on your way - you won't make him any angrier. Faster-than-thou, previously happy at 75 mph, now decides he has to go 83 mph. He passes you, and often makes a point about it. I can't explain this part - it has to do with being on the road too long. Cars get body language after a while. Faster-than-thou can only be cured by the Lamborghini, whose engine you can feel a quarter-mile away, tearing by him at 140 mph as if he were standing still. I have actually seen, in my younger years, a Faster-than-thou pathetically attempt to catch such a speed-demon, but then give up. Such is the heirarchy of the highway. It is like a nature show.

Related to, but the antithesis of Faster-than-thou, is The Duckling. Ducklings will NEVER pass you, not even when you slow down to 30 mph. Ducklings love you. You are their mommy. You were the first car they met when they got on the highway, and they are going to stick with you through thick and thin. Ducklings like to stay right behind you (some are more polite about this than others). Sometimes I wonder if I have a new Stephen King novel written on the back of my car that The Duckling just has to finish before going around me. Often Ducklings are tailgaters, which is why they are so annoying. I have actually been on an empty highway with a Duckling tailgating me. I had to pull off the road at the next exit to get rid of her. Ducklings are often women - aggressive enough to tailgate, too frightened to pass.

And then, there are the mythical Dumb Bunnies. You will rarely get to check one of these off your highway watcher checklist. The Dumb Bunny has an assortment of all of the above characteristics. Dumb Bunnies defy analysis. Sometimes their actions seem so purposeful, like a Duckling, and other times they just seem really stupid, like a Lefty. I was plagued by a Dumb Bunny from Effingham to Indianapolis. She was driving a blue Jeep Liberty, brunette... looked permed. I actually wrote down her lisence plate, but it is the car. Regardless, she was from Indiana. She exhibited traits from each of these groups. I tried to scrape her off on in a Snail Race, but that didn't work. I tried to slow down to get rid of her, but then she became a Duckling. I sped up to get away from her, but she persued me. You know, I think it was more a case of Highway Paranoia (you've been on the highway so long you feel as though it belongs to you, and all of these people are just driving on it to get in your way and that they are purposefully doing things TO YOU) but the bonus to the Dumb Bunny was she distracted me from being bored and she also led me to thinking about these classifications. I was glad to be rid of her though.

So I am home now, safe with the Forest Cats (Roo and Free went on the trip too, but I'll speak of that later). For now, my paper procrastinating must come to an end.

Keep on keepin' on.

Happy Holidays

2005-12-19T15:52:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays everyone! I can't report any funny business in Canada as far as the holidays go (unlike in New Zealand where a pack of rampaging Santas caused some damage), so instead I shall report on my favorite Canadian TV shows, to date, that you probably haven't seen (unless you live in Canada).

Puppets Who Kill. This is a strange show about a halfway house for homicidal puppets. The house is operated by Dan, the social worker, and four puppets live with him. They have all killed, and most of them continue to do so on a fairly weekly basis. Not every episode is a winner, but they are consistantly good. The joke about Canadian Tire money really got me.

Sons of Butcher. Sons of Butcher can be explained in just one word: wrong. Actually, I should use two words: Seriously Wrong. Anna knows, she's seen it. Jokes about glory holes, ball sacks, and coughing up your own testicles are the rule of the day. This is one of those shows that transcends television as Sons of Butcher is a real band located in Hamilton, ON (Steeltown), though I don't know if they are actually butchers too.

Royal Canadian Air Farce. This is like SNL, but funny, and it is VERY Canadian. Short skits about Canadian politics and culture, and they also make spoof ads. I don't always get the jokes on politics, but I can at least get the Newfie jokes.

Kenny vs. Spenny. Two guys compete. They have really stupid competitions. They really try to win. This apparently started as a comic short and bloomed into a show on Showcase. It is funny, though I'm not sure what they will do in the second season.

Curling. I must be a Canadian at heart. I friggin' LOVE Curling. It is so much fun to watch. That, or I must be really bored. Perhaps some of both. Even so, it is, with hockey, my sport of choice right now. I like Curling because there is a lot of yelling over nothing. That amuses me on some level. Also, it is really nasty and competitive. I am looking forward to Olympic Curling.

Buzz. Buzz is no longer on the air, but boy was it funny. I watched it last year, it's final year. Two guys travel around, mostly Toronto, and make fun of people and get them to do silly things. Once, they ran a bar out of their trunk as a protest against the LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario). They were just giving away drinks. They also curse a lot, which is amusing as well.

So those are my shows. In general, Canadian TV is better than American TV because they don't censor everything out of the shows/movies. You heard bad words, you see nudity, etc. More European. They also have French channels, though it is in Quebecquois French, which is hard to understand.

Keep on keepin' on and joyeux noel.

The Little Things

2005-12-16T11:27:00.000-05:00

Whenever one goes to another country, it is the little things that flip us out. We can take inthe pagodas and the aqueducts, and the rain forests and the sheep... but tell us the Price is Right is on an hour later and we lose it.

Now, Canada is quite similar to the US in many ways... less so in Quebec, moreso in the mid-provinces. Yeah, provinces, what is up with that? Anyway, there are some big things up here. The province thing, the French, the kms and grams and such, and I can accept all of that without any problem. But again, it is the little things that get me and here are some of them.

I cannot seem to find, for the life of me, corn tortillas. They have a "Flatbreads of the World" section in the store, no corn tortillas. This makes the production of enchiladas difficult, so we had a friend import some for us during her trip up here from the States. We mete them out on special occasions.

The store is called "Dominion". I don't know why, but I don't want to shop at a grocery store called Dominion. I feel like my purchase of an apple and a pint...er... I mean a LITRE of milk is going to some evil James Bond-like organization. But, I figure, Bond has to keep his job and Dominion has the cheapest TV dinners.

Obviously, we don't have CBS, ABC, NBC up here. We actually do get those feeds from Buffalo, but the Canadian stations are things like CBC, CityTV, and CH. This I don't mind either, I consider it a "big" thing. BUT... TSN (The Sports Network), the Canadian ESPN also has SportsCenter... but... it is... SportsCentre. Yeah. Two letters. It freaks me the freakity-freak out. I mean, SportsCenter is so low-brow, flipping those little letters around just gives it this weird air of culture. It would be like going for coffee with Sylvester Stallone and finding that he sticks his pinky out when he drinks.

Flashing green for protected turn. Sure, some lights have the arrows that tell you you can turn left, but some don't, they just flash for about five seconds. I have had to explain this to more than one person. Now, I don't have a problem with this, I just wonder why they do it both ways is all. Pick one people, pick one.

The "Loonie". Normally, currency changes fall under "big", and the fact there are well-used one- and two-dollar coins here is big, but it is the fact they call them the "Loonie" and "Toonie" that gets me. Americans would never belittle their Almighty Dollar with a silly epitaph like a "Georgie". Americans are serious about their money. It is a GREEN-BACK, or a BUCK. Lots of aggressive K sounds. No, up here it is a Loonie because it is a gold coin (think Sacagawea dollar here) with the Queen on the obverse and a loon on the reverse. Canadians like their wildlife, they have a caribou on the quarter and a beaver on the nickel. So they put a loon on their dollar, and thus, it is called a Loonie. The newspapers call it a Loonie. "The Loonie gained on the dollar today..." People ask, "Do you have a Loonie?" at store counters. Or "Can I have five Loonies for laundry?" So when the two dollar coin was released, it was called the "Toonie".. the Two-nie. Ha ha. Canadians are funny. The Toonie has a bear on the back, so the joke is "The queen and her bear ass". Yes, that is funny too. The benefit for all of this weird change is that if you keep a piggy bank as I do, you amass quite a bit very quickly. Last year, at the end of the term, I had $148 in my little ol' piggy bank. I was rife with Loonies. Check out the Wikipedia entry on the Loonie.

That is "aboot" all for now, I hope to keep adding to this list as things occur to me.

Art History According to Undergrads

2005-12-15T23:04:00.000-05:00

So, I spent ALL day marking final exams. Got up at 7:30 am, an unholy hour for me, got down to campus by 8:30, oversaw the final for two hours, and then I graded until 8 pm. It was horrible. The other TA and I were getting punch drunk. At a certain point, I didn't even know what language I was reading. Oh, did I mention there were 158 tests? Three essays a piece?

So the prof and we TAs, the three of us total, each took an essay and mine was the Roman one, since I had lectured on Rome, I could grade it the most easily, but we shared funny comments when they popped up. So I am going to share with you some of the funnier things people wrote as part of their essays on their Ancient Art History final:

Romans were obsessed with the arch.

Greek vase painting truly exploded with the arrival of the geometric style.

If there is one thing we have plenty of, its Greek vases.

(On Augustus:) Never had a Roman Emperor (and he was the first) had so many art pieces relating to him.

And my personal favorite:

Romans were, like the Borge [sic] from Star Trek, assimilators.

So that is my Canadian experience for the day. It was bittersweet as the class is now over, but I'm definitely glad the marking is over.

Meanwhile...The World According to Student Bloopers

Another link

2005-12-14T22:29:00.000-05:00

Hi all,

I added another link to my sidebar. Being from Kansas, I am very interested in the Intelligent Design vs. Evolution debate. The first link to the left takes you to a Cafe Press site that sells shell shirts (say that three times fast!) from some beautiful lithographs in the Kansas University Paleoinstitute's collection. Proceeds go to the Institute, which recently lost state funding.

Snowy Moon

2005-12-14T11:54:00.000-05:00

First, Anna, you have very cool friends. Hi Anna's friends. I've been looking at your blogs too. What a gang!

Okay, onto the "observation canadien*" of the day:

Yesterday evening was eerie. I looked out of the window and it was snowing. This in and of itself is not entirely strange as it IS the Great White North and it didn't get that name from all of the Irish immigrants. It does snow here, quite a bit. Not as much as Buffalo, but more than Chicago. Such is the world. But the snow wasn't the weird thing. What was weird was that it was snowing pretty heavily and the MOON was out. Totally out, not a cloud in the sky. I mean, it was night, so there may have been clouds in the sky, but as far as the moon was concerned, no clouds. So I was looking up at this nearly full moon serenely glowing with a pale, blue light and I could see these big, puffy flakes fluttering around in front of it somewhat hazing it out, but you could still see all of the valleys and craters on the moon. It was really beautiful.

*Here, I mean the country, not the "fur-lined jacket" that is listed as an option in French dictionaries. I could make a fur-lined jacket observation, but that would only be, doesn't the fur get pretty icky when you sweat in a fur-lined jacket?

Another bit of information, I did a bit of work and put a Links category to your left <--- (observe!!) and I hope to build on it. If you have not done so yet in your life, check out Homestar Runner. Funny flash cartoons about Homestar Runner and his gang.

Also, check out Odd Todd as well. It makes me laugh so hard I cry. It started as a series of cartoons about this poor guy who lost his job and couldn't find another. What makes it funny is that he is probably one of the most ambitionless individuals on the planet, but that his lack of ambition seems to bother him.

For now, I guess, back to papers...

Down the Rabbit Hole

2005-12-12T12:34:00.000-05:00

Wow, my first blog. First, I have to say that creating the blog was a harrowing experience, but it proved a fun distraction from writing my papers. I was also inspired by Anna... I'm sure we'll get linked up eventually.

I'm about to head down to campus (U. of Toronto) in a car with a NEW BATTERY! Actually, the account of obtaining said battery is rather amusing. My boyfriend, Justin, was sent, by me, to Canadian Tire. For those non-Canadians out there (or non-Canadaphiles) who know nothing of Canadian Tire, you are really missing out. They run these ads on TV with this creepy "Canadian Tire" guy. You don't know what his name is, but he has a solution for all of your problems, and the solution is always found at Canadian Tire. Canadian Tire is, obstensibly, a Sears, but it is like a Sears from BizzaroWorld. They have car parts, an autoshop, they sell tools and pool toys and a ton of hockey gear, but they also have strange things there like an ottoman that folds out into a recliner.

Anyway, Justin was at Canadian Tire and he finds the right battery and takes it up front. Since Canadians are currently also in the capitalist throes of the season, the line was quite long. After negotiating said line, the checkout lady tells him he has to get a little warranty slip from the back counter so she can print the sale information on it. So he goes to the back of the store, waits for a non-existant back-counter person to help him. There is a line (Canadians are like the English, they are really good at "queuing". Justin can hear shuffling in the back, but no one comes out. After a loud shuffle, the man standing with Justin shouts "Is anyone there, eh?" (seriously), and the shuffling stops. The man shouts again. No more shuffling. Finally, over the loudspeaker comes a weak, perhaps scared little voice, "We need some help back in auto..."

Someone finally comes, but doesn't speak English so well. He eventually gives Justin a slip and tells him to go buy the battery and bring the receipt back to the back counter. So Justin goes up, tries to pay (after waiting in line again), but saleslady doesn't want to sell it to him because it isn't the RIGHT slip of paper. Justin actually says, "I've never had this kind of trouble buying a ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BATTERY!" A meeting is called between the saleslady and the guy from the auto counter. Finally, Justin gets whatever mythical forms he needed to buy a car battery and he leaves. He also forgets the antifreeze, but KNOWS it isn't worth going back for.

We got the battery installed last night and the care starts up like a champ, which is good since we'll be driving back to Kansas in 10 days or so and I wanted to make certain the car was healthy.